Believe me when I say I am NOT making excuses up for him but I have known ABF for over 20 years and he has never been the violent type.
I knew my husband for 20 years also. There was not an aggressive bone in his body. Until towards the end. He started getting aggressive bordering on violent with the dogs. That was the end for me. I wasn't going to stick around and take the chance that he would turn that behavior on me or the kids........................