Barbara52

One of my breakthroughs before I left STBXAH was when I asked myself the famous Anne Landers question: Are you better off with him or without him? I realized that I was not in a marriage any more, that it was dead and AH was jsut using me to finance his chosen lifestyle, i.e., drunk daily and sit on his butt doing nothing all day everyday.

Kindeyes

I went through much of what you are dealing with 25 years ago. I had a small child with my AXH. I did everything I could think of to save that marriage but it was a one way street. When the pain of living with him became greater than the fear of being without him, that's when I took action. For me. For my toddler son. I KNEW our lives would be better without him in it on a daily basis.

Only you can decide when enough is enough. Only you can decide if you can continue to live this way.

When our divorce was almost final......my XAH came to me begging to take him back. Telling me that he had made a terrible mistake. But by that time, I was at a point of no return. Subsequently, I lost my house to foreclosure. I didn't care. ANYTHING was better than living in chaos. It was hard. But I survived and I can assure you that I am MUCH better off today than I would have been had I stayed with him.

But that was MY choice. You have your own choices to make. No one here can tell you what to do.

gentle hugs