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Wow, no drama today! LOL. But why is it that when you can least afford (in every sense of the word) to get sick, you do? Ugh, the sick bugs have gotten me. Head cold, sore throat, sinus pressure headaches, and GI upset stuff. Today I was supposed to be out delivering more resumes, supposed to meet some people about selling the minivan I'm trying to sell, and my mother and brother who live in NY and IN are coming in Friday mid-morning for my daughters high school graduation. And I'm supposed to be running around like a mad women getting things found, organized and priced for a yard sale on Saturday morning. AND supposed to be planning a little family party/get together thing for Friday evening after my daughters graduation ceremony. (my daughter graduating high school = I'm old - when did THAT happen?) And here I am sidelined by illness. ACK. My mother is a super clean freak and well....let's just say....ummm...I'm not. I'd LIKE to be, don't get me wrong, I'd LOVE to be - but this place is so cluttered and disorganized it would take a month of fulltime working on it and probably $500 worth of organizing do-dads to get this place in "mother - worthy" shape. MY house isn't filthy dirty or anything, but like - I have 4 daughters and so right now there is literally a mountain of clothes in my laundry room, on the floor that need to be sorted through, washed & dried and put away, or thrown away. It has gotten so big, and I am short, so yesterday when I had to do some laundry I literally had to climb up it to get into the basin of the washing machine. So, ummm....I've let a few things slide in the last couple of weeks. My bedroom has become a big mess, seems to the the dumping ground around here. Very cluttered right now. My mother would like the be Martha Stewart I think. So, I'm very nervous about her (and my brother who I havent seen in two years) coming. She will comment on my "pigsty" of a house. Whatever. Nothing is ever good enough and she's the most negative person I know. But still, I'm nervous. I'd like to surprise her by not cleaning at all - just to see her eyes get huge and her jaw drop when she walks in the door, but she had open heart surgery two years ago and a stroke last year so I don't think I should push it in the name of being rebellious. Besides I dont want my brother thinking I'm really as big as a slob as I really am, he'll go back and tell his perfect wife and my image with them will be shattered. LOL. My other brother and his wife, well they are slobs so its okay that they know I really am too, but I'd like to keep up appearances as long as I can with my other brother. The preppy one with the really nice house and clothes and car, that one. No news from the AH. He was supposed to let me know about the rent $ and of course he hasn't yet. Its almost 8pm and since I'm sick I'm going to bed in an hour. I think the difference (well one of the differences) in how AH and I deal with things is that he is always hyper, cant sit still for long, always has to be doing something. I am the opposite most of the time (unless I have a bunch of $ for shopping, then I'm the energizer bunny -okay, so that's only happened like twice in my life, but it was a hyper time nonetheless, there was no stopping me) The point being, AH seems to be dealing so well with things because he is SOOOOO busy (he does heating and air installation, sales and service, so this time of year things are crazy busy, 7 days a week) and keeps busy he doesnt have time to think about anything really other than the task at hand. Me, I obsess and think and think and think and think until I dont think I can think anymore and then I think somemore anyhow. I think until you would think my thinker was broke! But its not. Sometimes I wish it was. Like sometimes I wish I didn't really ever have any deep thoughts, like those guys in the movie Dumb and Dumber. Sometimes I'd like to be simple like them. MY mind is like my 11yo ADHD daughters mouth.....it keeps going and going and going. So, I'm sure this isn't a rocket-scientist-like idea - but I've figured out I have to keep BUSY and productive. Then I wont have time to think and think and think and obsess and try and find a reason for the things there is no reason for. And I make myself miserable in doing so. And it seems like my thinker keeps me from being busy and that is a pattern I need to break. Sheesh...I sure wish my body were as hyper as my mind, that'd be awesome. |
Lists help me. When I'm overwhelmed with chores to accomplish, I list it all out. If you can get the girls to chip in (I know, I had unwilling teens also!) have them start checking off completed items on the list. Who cares if they don't do it perfectly, tell them just do it. Laundry can be going nonstop over the next two days while you are cranking out the other to-dos. Just get it sorted into piles and start. It sounds like you are trying to maintain a sense of normalcy, which I think is good to a point. But if it all is going to disappear in the next month (eviction), can you ask family for help while they are around? I know it's difficult to admit to others how awful your life has become, but people can amaze you sometimes with their love and support. And by the way, strongerwoman, I think you are gorgeous! |
Hey check out FlyLady.net: Your personal online coach to help you gain control of your house and home she will help you get organised my friend!!! It really really works too....I have only got to step 2 so far but gee my sink is shining...... Check it out and let me know what you think. It will keep you busy reading anyway!! Fly lady helps me stay on top of things and she will help you declutter..... I wish you the best Phiz |
Hi....you sound alot like me! ;) After my son was diagnosed with ADHD (years ago), eventually I saw the same doctor. It IS hereditary. I've been treated for it,for years. It helps. I only have ADD.........I could use the "H" part,but it was not to be,I guess. We are "slobs",too.no matter how I try. When exAHG was around (neat-freak) things were a lot better in that regard (until his behavior got bad) but by that time the kids were older and had friends around and we had 20-25yrs plus to have more things in the house. Hope4 you are feeling better SOON! |
Love Flylady!! PHIZ did you mention her on here to someone before? Cuz I definitely first read about her from someone here and I am so grateful! Peace, B. |
Hey B no I didn't....I got it from somewhere else but "she" is soo great....really she is..... even if you just do the first baby step......it really helps me when I feel my place is getting out of control!!! (which I might add with three little ones its a regular occurrence!!) LOL! enjoy....fly lady keeps me on track...even if its just to know what I am aiming at.....know what I mean??! Enjoy the read......Phiz :ghug2 |
With all of the stress you have been under no wonder you don't feel well. Also anticipating your mother's judgment has to be stressful. I am hoping you can just let go of what other people think cause it really doesn't change who you are. From what I can tell you are a very good person dealing with a lot of stuff why take on what others think? If your mom has to put you down just remember she is looking in the mirror when she looks down at others.... There is a book that reminds me of your situation with your mom. Get the title cause it says it all: "What Others Think of Me Is None of My Business" if we realize we see our reflection in others maybe we could all learn to be less critical and more compassionate... |
My mum is just the same. She didn't visit me for two years because she said my home wasn't clean and tidy! I call her Monica (as in Friends tv show) because she is so compulsive. I swaer it is either codependancy related or OCD! Do what you can and don't fret! You are not superwoman! By the by, is that pic you? You are beautiful! I don't see any of the things you have talked about in past posts. Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
Similar situation here. My Mom is the queen of clean.....and I'm not. I would consider myself "normal" when it comes to clean. My home is comfortably lived in. But my mother is unbelievably clean. BUT.....I don't make any special efforts when my mother comes over. She can either love me the way I am or not. Her choice. Fortunately, she loves me just the way I am. (It doesn't stop her from commenting periodically but I just giggle and that makes her giggle.) I hope you feel better soon. They say that stress can make you sick. Well, you're lucky at this point that you aren't hospitalized with the stress you've been dealing with! But, as always, you have a way of throwing in some humor in your posts! FEEL BETTER SOON!!!!!! gentle hugs |
Originally Posted by peaceteach
(Post 1793551)
And by the way, strongerwoman, I think you are gorgeous! I'm sharing my reaction to help you hear how beautiful you are inside and out. Karen |
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