cagefree

A couple weeks ago I was content to just be with myself...then I met him through a mutual friend and I officially have a date this weekend...he offered to drive hours to take me to a nice restaurant - I get to pick! Get this - he's got a job, is successful, is responsible and is mature! Everything I used to run from.

I was on the immediate look-out for codie thinking and put a stop to the thoughts...maybe I should drive him, maybe I should pay since he's driving...maybe maybe maybe...STOP! I deserve to have someone drive to my town, take me out to a nice place and yes, even pay for the meal...he asked me out. I am deserving.

Geez, this all feels so unfamiliar...since I've never felt deserving until I began to recover from codependency over a year ago. I can't wait until this is completely familiar!

I feel like celebrating!

SugarLily

Wow Carefree, I'm so happy for you! Let us know how it goes please.

Can I say - your post really helped me, this bit:

I do that! And I need to STOP!

Have a fabulous time x x

WLDKATZ

NO DONT STOP!!!!!!!!! READ MY POSTS LADIES DATING IS SCAREY NO MATTER WHICH WAY YOU GO I WISH WE HAD A SITE WHERE WE COULD GO AD IT SAYS HONESTY GIVEN HERE AND FIND A REAL MAN I WAS SO VERY LUCKY I FOUND ONE AND DIDNT REALIZE IT AND ALMOST LOST HIM BECAUSE I COMPAIRED HIM TO EVERYONE ELSE, BUT THE DATING THING YES YOU DO DESERVE THOSE THINGS IN YOUR LIFE EVERYONE DOES AND IT TAKES SOME GETTING USED TOO.....BUT PLEASE DONTEVER STOP LOOKING FOR RED FLAGS BECAUSE THAT IS WHEN YOU WILL SETTLE FOR JUST ANY OLE THING....GOOD LUCK AND ABOVE ALL BE SAFE AND i WOULDD MEET HIM THERE AFTER ALL IT IS A BLIND DATE AND U REALLY DONT KNOW HIM.........A PICNIC IN A PLUBLIC PARK WITH YOUR DOG ALWAYS DOES WELL TOO.......LOL ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE AFRAID OF YOUR DOG.........LOL

BEST OF LUCK, LOVE HUGS AND PRAYERS,
PAMM

Rella927

Cage that is wonderful sweets!

Open your mind....relax breathe.....be yourself! You will be fine-and yes let him treat you like the queen you deserve to be! Enjoy your date and fill us in on it!!!

Happy for you!

FormerDoormat

How exciting, Cage! I hope you have a wonderful time.

CatsPajamas

Have fun, be careful, pay attention. You deserve to have a nice man take you out for a wonderful evening.

Just make sure there are plenty of open tables nearby, because we are ALL going to be there with you. when you hear the crash in the kitchen, don't worry. it was just me, tripping over something.....

Road trip!

Barbara52

I hope you have fun!

Kindeyes

That is sooooooo exciting! Dating on a referral basis only is a great idea! Go out. Enjoy. Have fun. Relax.

i4getsm

I will be living vicariously through you! LOL! Ahhh...dinner and a nice date...heaven!

Let us know how it goes!

hbb

Yipppiiieee! So excited for you You will have a blast! I can't wait to hear all about it, you will have to fill us in! Letting someone take me out for a change was GREAT! You deserve it. Have fun!

How's the pooch?

cagefree

Yes - we are going to need to dress up - no jeans or sneakers

You guys are cracking me up! My only expectations are 2 people, good food and good conversation...I know the good conversation is a definite as I've talked to him a lot already - the place has excellent food and it will just be him and me.

He has already told me he holds doors open for women. Since I'm not going to get in his car just yet - the jury will be out on the car door LOL

Spiritual Seeker

How exciting.

peaceteach

Enjoy being a girl, sweetie!

Lilyflower

Cage I'm so happy for you! It really is exciting, I just cannot imagine going out with someone else right now, it's great you are at this place within yourself to explore and have fun!

Enjoy your night,

Love Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

RosieM

Yipes, this is exciting! I'm with you, Lily - can't imagine doing this but really hope my time will come eventually!! Keep us posted, CF! RosieM

PHIZ007

What time are we all to be there?? (grin! grin!)

Have a great time - enjoy every moment! We all deserve to be treated well - wishing you a lovely evening!
All the best Phiz :ghug

i4getsm

Wondering how your night is going!! Hope you had a great time!

gns

Hope you had a great time!

Those are the same thoughts I have, too. It is nice to know I am not alone.

WLDKATZ

hey girl we need an update here!!!!

cagefree

Thanks so much for all of your encouragement It was nice to have an invisible group with me *wink wink*

I had a lot of fun. It was as I expected - good food, good conversation and lots of laughs. So - we sit down to dinner at this fancy restaurant and we get the wine list and our menus...then he offerred to get us a bottle of wine and for a minute I froze like a deer in headlights. I managed to get the words out that I don't really drink more than 1 drink in an outing (which is actually for medical reasons).

I then realized that I still feel uncomfortable around any man who drinks at all. It's something I've been working on for awhile that stems from my difficulty trusting my instincts.

We're going out again to a historical venue in the city next weekend - boundaries in place and holding strong. It's definitely more comforting knowing that it's okay to not trust someone at first and let someone prove they are trustworthy. I used to feel guilty if I didn't trust someone right away. Now, it's nice to know the right man will allow me space and time to trust and work to gain it.

The nice thing is finally being able to put some of the tools into practice. I can hypothesize all I want to in therapy...but until I set boundaries in these situations in real life, I don't feel I can move beyond myself - so it's all good.

So - I get into work this morning there's an email from XABF waiting titled "Join <name> on ***** messenger!". It's been almost a year since he's tried to contact me.

delete.