Just when I think I have heard it all
 

I filed for divorce from my SBTXAH back in Jan, the papers are signed and it will be final in july. He moved out in feb and I have made it crystal clear to him that he is NEVER coming back. All of our finances are separate except for a couple of things that will get taken care of soon (cell phone and car ins). For the past few days he has been nice and chatty when he calls to talk to our son so I knew he was up to something (so sad that I know he is never nice unless he wants something).


Today he calls and informs me that he is buying a motorcycle (um ok nice, who cares) BUT his credit is not so good (shocking huh) and WOULD YOU CO-SIGN THE LOAN FOR ME.

Now in order to understand why this takes the cake for the past 5-6 years I have not only refused to pay off any more cc bills for him, I would not allow him to buy any "toys" because he was taking layoff from work 6 months a year and I was tired of getting stuck paying for his crap.

I didn't yell or scream or freak out, I simply told him "no way" and reminded him that I would not assume any responsibility for his debts when we were together I certainly was not going to sign up now.

Then my son tells me that his dad just got a new "gold card". You know I thought that he would at least wait until the ink was dry to start self destructing financially.

I am just glad that it's not my problem any more.

Good for you for saying "no". At least now, when he self-destructs financially, it will be all on HIM!!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Well, it is no secret that the "As" have boundary issues. I'm sure it was a no-brainer to say No, but I'm also sure it felt good to be so HEALTHY about it and not freak out.:)

(((hadenough))), it is hard - and pretty doggone amazing, no less - to swallow their audacity, isn't it? When people do this, it tells me they no longer have any conscience, sense of right-and-wrong, and no pride. They don't even realize they don't deserve to just have things given to them by virtue of asking.

Actually NO COMMON SENSE is what it boils down to. And we all know you cannot make any sense out of an addict who is active.

Our recovery? Not to get our shorts in a knot. Not to say, "How DARE you have the NERVE to make such a request!" And to realize that an addict, is an addict, is an addict. We have to detach our emotions from their whole doggone mess. I was able to do so when I started tending to my own personal messes and leaving any mess my AH had on his side of the street.

Sad, but true. They lose all sense of propriety and any sense of balance as to what is right and wrong. It's no longer about anyone else. As far as they are concerned, it all boils down to, "ME, ME, ME."

The upside about their addiction, and its subsequent behaviors being about nobody else, is that we can have peace knowing their drinking and/or drugging has NOTHING to do with us!

You definitely are further down the road than me. I would have laughed in his face and said "you're joking, right". Hahahahahahaha!

Good for you! It is so nice once you no longer have to deal with the crazy behaviour!

Good job for keeping your cool and staying firm.

I guess he had to try. {shrug} Good for you for standing your ground and seeing it as something you don't want to do.