Sometimes I am amazed
 

When I look at what I've gone thru since I admitted my AH was an alcoholic and a deadbeat husband, and decided to leave him, I am amazed at the changes I've gone thru. I see quite a few new folks in here who remind me of myself a few short months ago. I want to let you know where you can be in a few short months.

I left him for myself but also hoping he would change with the shock of my actually leaving. I gradually turned those hopes totally over to my HP, trusting that God would work His ways in His time. I let go my worries about AH. I let go my anger. I remain prayerfully hopeful for AH but I no longer let it affect my life.

I learned a great deal about what is going on inside my head and why I chose to marry a man I knew to be alocholic, why I stayed, why I let myself be used by him as he sat around and drank all day doing nothing.

I learned to be grateful for they 4 years I was married to this man and equally grateful to be on the verge of divorce from him. Without this marriage, I never would have done the personal growth I have done in the past 9 months. Without this marriage I would never have come to share the stories and growth of so many in here.

I am now waiting for AH to do what he can do to stop foreclosure on our house, waiting to see if he'll file bankruptcy which will buy time to sell the house but will put my divorce on hold at the 9th hour.

There ain't a danged thing I can do to change the outcome, whatever it will be.

And I am totally OK with that. I remain at peace and firmly in my personal serenity. I never could have gone thru this current crazy waiting without having survived and learned from the pain of my marriage to my AH. I could never maintained my peace and serenity without my personal recovery efforts. I could never have been so successful in my personal recovery without the love and support I have found on this wonderful forum.

So those of you who are new, read my posting history, read my words now. You can get through your personal situation and end up in a much better place. And in a relatively short period of time. Don't ever forget you can do this. Have faith in yourself and in your HP.

hey B-52
wow- this post totally made me cry!!
very inspiring - thank you
blessings and peace,
B.

B-52- glad to be sharing the journey
No regrets is a great philosophy becasue every past choice leads us to where we
are now.

Barbara,
Thank you.

Great post Barb! Very inspiring :hug:

Glad that you shared this with us!

Amazing how faith works when we work it!

Barbara
Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing. As I read your areas of growth, I was able to reflect on my own growth. And it made me feel very good.

gentle hugs

Barb52, Thanks so much for sharing this! Wonderfully encouraging words for all of us to read!

You are an inspiration to me, and I'm truly grateful to hear of your experiences!


Shivaya


:shine8pl:

Thank you all.

I hope no one takes this as tooting my own horn. I truly do want people to see they can indeed improve their lives if they work at it and believe in themselves and their HP.

Thank you Barb! In your history, I hear a lot of my own story. I'm continuing to pray that one day I'll "make" it. Thank you also for your encouraging words to my posts (and everyone else's). When you're in the middle of it, it's very difficult to hope that you'll come out alive, ya know? In just the few short weeks I've been here, I've grown so much just talking to you and others on this board. :You_Rock_

If we don't toot our own horn, who will?
Toot toot toot away.
It is great to see progress.
ESH is fantastic.

Thank you Barb, and thank you for the progress reminder when times are hard! To think it's been 9 months, i personally never thought i would be where i am today, it's because of yours and others' support all the way through.

I couldn't be happier for you :)

I love your post Barbara, I hope to feel the same way very soon. I'm still being strong.

I don't mean to say I am considering going back - no way, that ship sailed long ago - many many times!

I find encouragement here I really do.

By the way, what is HP?

Happy Place? If I'm wrong please don't laugh!

Thank you for making me feel welcome.

Higher Power. Although quite frankly Happy place works for me too.

happy place, I can get my head round that one a little better for now. Thanks.

Thank you Barbara. You give us a glimpse of how our lives will and can improve.

Thanks Barb. Feeling the same these days. R.

Thank you for sharing your story and words of encouragement. If I could blink myself to exactly where you are right now I would do it. But I have some hard work I've been putting off and I need to stop procrastinating and JUST DO IT.

Thank you Barbara52. Your post lifted my sagging spirits.

The hard work is more than worth the effort and pains it puts us through. (hugs)