So glad I went!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 30
So glad I went!
I went to an Alanon meeting for the first time a few months ago, and wasn't real happy with it. There were only 3 other people they weren't used to newcomers, there was no literature and nothing was really discussed.
Well I decided to try again last night at a new location at what I thought would be a bigger meeting. Well there were maybe 6 people at this one and it was INCREDIBLE. I felt SO good after I left. They chose 2 topics and discussed them...powerlessness and contol. I also purchased 2 books which are great.
I have an Order of Protection which expires on Friday and I've been deciding what to do. He's been staying with a friend, but I did have him come by briefly twice because I really missed him(the old him), but then couldn't wait for him to go because of all the behaviors that were still there. He said he hasn't drank in a week (does he realize the liquor store shows up on credit card bill?) AH told me he has an appt. with a counselor on Thurs., so it's a step. He refused a treatment facility(which I suggested) because he's not going to do it just because I'm "making" him. I told him I don't want him back til something changes.
So at the meeting one woman said, we will never tell you what to do and told me this story. The sponsor of a woman who was married to an A would ask her did you call the lawyer today (for divorce). The wife said no and the sponsor said, OK, then do what is right for you today. I thought that was awesome. And then I thought what is right for me today? One thing I know is that today I don't want to be around that behavior. I can extend the Order friday if he doesn't show(which he won't, he's avoiding getting served) and I will decide that on Friday. I don't think I'll feel any differnet on friday and will probably extend the oder and try not to worry about how he reacts. I need to feel safe and comfortable in my home. I don't have to worry about a week from now or a month from now, as long as I do what is right for me today. I love him whether he drinks or not and pray he will decide he wants sobriety, but I will try very hard to not let it effect me or our children, and if that means divorce, I am prepared, but today I am not ready.
My point of this post is that if one meeting doesn't work for you...TRY ANOTHER ONE!!! I'm so glad I did, I plan on going to many more.
Well I decided to try again last night at a new location at what I thought would be a bigger meeting. Well there were maybe 6 people at this one and it was INCREDIBLE. I felt SO good after I left. They chose 2 topics and discussed them...powerlessness and contol. I also purchased 2 books which are great.
I have an Order of Protection which expires on Friday and I've been deciding what to do. He's been staying with a friend, but I did have him come by briefly twice because I really missed him(the old him), but then couldn't wait for him to go because of all the behaviors that were still there. He said he hasn't drank in a week (does he realize the liquor store shows up on credit card bill?) AH told me he has an appt. with a counselor on Thurs., so it's a step. He refused a treatment facility(which I suggested) because he's not going to do it just because I'm "making" him. I told him I don't want him back til something changes.
So at the meeting one woman said, we will never tell you what to do and told me this story. The sponsor of a woman who was married to an A would ask her did you call the lawyer today (for divorce). The wife said no and the sponsor said, OK, then do what is right for you today. I thought that was awesome. And then I thought what is right for me today? One thing I know is that today I don't want to be around that behavior. I can extend the Order friday if he doesn't show(which he won't, he's avoiding getting served) and I will decide that on Friday. I don't think I'll feel any differnet on friday and will probably extend the oder and try not to worry about how he reacts. I need to feel safe and comfortable in my home. I don't have to worry about a week from now or a month from now, as long as I do what is right for me today. I love him whether he drinks or not and pray he will decide he wants sobriety, but I will try very hard to not let it effect me or our children, and if that means divorce, I am prepared, but today I am not ready.
My point of this post is that if one meeting doesn't work for you...TRY ANOTHER ONE!!! I'm so glad I did, I plan on going to many more.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
A couple of slogans come to mind"
" It works if you work it.
Progress not perfection. "
If you use Al-anon as a vehicle for your own recovery, change + spiritual growth, not only will you benefit but your children will in ways you can't even imagine today.
So glad to hear you went back and had a good exper.
" It works if you work it.
Progress not perfection. "
If you use Al-anon as a vehicle for your own recovery, change + spiritual growth, not only will you benefit but your children will in ways you can't even imagine today.
So glad to hear you went back and had a good exper.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: California
Posts: 303
That's awesome what2now! How great that you've found a mtg. group that you feel comfortable with!
I like how you articulated how you feel about divorce: You are prepared for it, but not ready for it today. That's exactly how I feel. Thanks for sharing that thought.
Keep up your journey of recovery....you are doing great!
Shivaya
I like how you articulated how you feel about divorce: You are prepared for it, but not ready for it today. That's exactly how I feel. Thanks for sharing that thought.
Keep up your journey of recovery....you are doing great!
Shivaya
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Hey- that is sooooo awesome!
I'm so glad you tried again and had a good experience.
When I was first discovering AlAnon it took me a while - like maybe a month of "shopping around" and then I settled on my two favorite groups. I lived in NYC at the time and my favorite lunch time meeting was held daily (if needed!) Mon-Fri - downtown near Wall St. I loved those successful Type-A powerful Codies, man --- holy cow!! If they could learn to "let go" I knew I could!!
My mid-week evening meeting was a mellow Upper West Side church basement. I felt - I STILL FEEL so much GRATITUDE to all those Anonymous people who taught me SO MUCH! Some of those meetings I walked out of literally glowing and 7 feet tall, and some I stumbled out of in a busted down heap - but they changed my life forever for the better. Night and Day.
Good luck - look forward to hearing about your growth - because I gotta tell ya - all this seeking, finding, and accepting help - has a way of sneaking up on you and getting you to a better place!
Peace,
B.
I'm so glad you tried again and had a good experience.
When I was first discovering AlAnon it took me a while - like maybe a month of "shopping around" and then I settled on my two favorite groups. I lived in NYC at the time and my favorite lunch time meeting was held daily (if needed!) Mon-Fri - downtown near Wall St. I loved those successful Type-A powerful Codies, man --- holy cow!! If they could learn to "let go" I knew I could!!
My mid-week evening meeting was a mellow Upper West Side church basement. I felt - I STILL FEEL so much GRATITUDE to all those Anonymous people who taught me SO MUCH! Some of those meetings I walked out of literally glowing and 7 feet tall, and some I stumbled out of in a busted down heap - but they changed my life forever for the better. Night and Day.
Good luck - look forward to hearing about your growth - because I gotta tell ya - all this seeking, finding, and accepting help - has a way of sneaking up on you and getting you to a better place!
Peace,
B.
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