Confused757

A little background.... My 2 young children & I live with my parents right now because of the things my husband has done. My dad is retired & watches my girls in the evenings while I work.

So, tonight there's an Al-Anon meeting & I don't have to work. I told my dad about the meeting & I had to explain to him what it was because he thought it was something my husband should be attending. Then, after I told him it was for freinds/family of alcaholics, he tells me, "You're not with him anymore so don't worry about it." He acts like it's no big deal & that I can just forget all about the past 5 yrs of my life with my alcoholic husband & the things he's said/done to his family.

Whenever I try to talk about anything with my husband now concerning how I feel, he only says, "Go to an Al-Anon meeting." Well, now I can't! Mom is working late tonight & can't watch the girls. Ugh!

I just want a NORMAL life without all this bullsh*t!

Becky

DesertEyes

Many al-anon meets have baby-sitting in the room next door. I've been to some where the babysitting was done by the attendees themselves, the children in one corner of the room and the meeting held in the opposite corner. If you call the al-anon central office they will give you the contact phone number for the person at that specific meeting. You can then call the contact person and ask them if it's ok to bring your little ones to that particular meet.

Mike

namelessone

This is very normal in my area as well.

Confused757

I am in tears right now! I asked again to go to a meeting & again I was told no. My dad sees it as an excuse to get out of the house & doesn't understand AT ALL what living 5 yrs with an alcoholic is like! And he had the nerve to call me bipolor because I started crying! I called the Al-Anon number & got a damn recording.

It seems like no matter what I do, I get treated like a stupid child. By my parents, by my husband & now by my parents again! I hate them for not even trying to understand & I hate my husband for doing this to us!

I tried to call my husband 3 times throughout the day today & he's not picking up his phone. That makes me think of the woman in rehab down there near where he lives now. Maybe he's spending the day with her! Ugh! I hate all of this!

Becky

prodigal

When you got a recording, did it say you should leave your first name and phone number and somebody would get back with you? Sometimes there are not enough volunteers to man the phones 24/7 for Al-Anon.

Call again. And again.

Why can't your dad look after the kids? What if you needed to run to the grocery store, or to the doctor? Would he look after them then? I'm not condoning lying to him in order to slip out to an Al-Anon meeting and have him watch the kids. I just wondered if he won't watch them BECAUSE it's an Al-Anon meeting.

Don't expect folks who have not been exposed to alcoholism to understand you and what you have gone through. They just don't "get it." If they don't understand it, don't conclude they are treating you like a child. They have a right to their opinions too.

Why are you continuing to call your AH? Is there something specific you need to discuss with him?

rubycanoe

You should hire a babysitter and pay for the babysitter yourself. Your parents already babysit everytime you work, they need a break. Find a meeting with a babysitter, find a friend to babysit , or hire a babysitter. Maybe spend time with your children and read the material, or go to online meeting after they are in bed. There are alternatives.

Confused757

There are online meetings? I didn't know that. As for the sitter, I only work part-time & don't make much & my husband isn't working so I get no money from him now. That's why dad watches the girls. The only friend I really have here works in the evenings as a waitress/bartender.

The recording only listed the meeting times/locations. There was no way of leaving any info.

I was calling my husband to give him the phone number he had asked for regarding a pretty big bill that's in my name. (Long story but he said he would get that paid since it was for something of HIS!)

Becky

Serenity8

I also have a hard time getting to al-anon meetings because of childcare issues. There aren't any babysitting meetings in my area, either. But definitely try to get to one meeting.

It does sound like your father is treating you like a child; but in my opinion you owe him no explanations. Either he can babysit your kids so you can run a few errands (including an al-anon meeting) or he can't. And it is understandable that he might need a break from watching them, too.

I do hope you can get yourself to a meeting, and take the time to ask for a phone list or ask for someone's phone number. And from there you might find out about other meeting times/locations that might work better with your schedule.

DesertEyes

Here are some more meetings in Virginia

Virginia Al-Anon Meetings

Here's some phone numbers in Virginia.

Virginia Al-Anon Links and Resources

Here's some on-line meetings

Online Al-Anon Family Group, Support Group of Family and Friends of Alcoholics. MIP 12 Step Forums also provides onlin Alcoholics Anonymous, Adult Children Anonymous and Abuse Survivors 12 Step Meetings and Chat, Webmaster: John Freifeld

But One Purpose AFG

See if any of these work for you

Mike

Confused757

Thank you

Rella927

My Al-Anon meetings have babysitting too-

Also my Al-Anon has quite a few A's that attend our meeting-



I agree with Prod....

Good Luck

Chrysalis

I subscribe to an online meeting, they are nice too. You can participate when you have time and re-read the shares when you need them most.
It's not a bad option.