howatch

Hi everyone

Just wondered whether alcoholics/addicts can ever 'stabilize' --- not necessarily always progress through the 'stages' of the disease?

My parents claim my mom has 'cut back'. Although she is still slurring her words in the evenings, she isn't actually passed out/hallucinating, so it is an improvement of sorts.

Of course, it might just be a phase, but I don't know whether every single alcoholic/addict gets worse over time --- or some can stay level??

Does anyone have any experiences or information relevant to this?
Thanks all
xxx

peaceteach

My experience with alcoholics, and from what I've read, this is just temporary for your mom, and that they cannot control or cut back for any length of time.

totfit

My experience is that there can be a temporary lull in the worst of it. I know that as long as someone is not practicing abstinece there is the potential for severe consequences. Abstinece has become easier for me with age it seems. If I drink however it is immediately at least as bad as it was. Keep in mind while many tout one model of alcoholism, it is really as different as the individual. Abstinece seems to be the best solution in any case. Harm reduction is just what the name says. There is still harm.

DesertEyes

Hi there howatch

Every alcohlic is different. Each one is a unique person with a different set of problems, history, and biology. Some of them quit drinking but their behavior actually gets worse. Some "back off" for a few months, or a few years, and then take it up again. Some "wake up" one day, but down the bottle and never touch it again, and go on to live a healthy, happy life. I've seen all of the above many, many times.

When I was living with my ex-wife I kept hoping she would "wake up". I kept hoping she would "back off". I kept hoping she would get into recovery. I did a _lot_ of hoping, and while I was doing all that hoping I was doing _nothing_ for myself. I was taking _no_ action on improving _me_. I was taking no action on setting boundaries and protecting myself from harm.

I realize today that hoping is like trying to win the lottery, but never buying a ticket. When I started to take action, when I got myself to meetings of al-anon and got me a good sponsor and did the steps is when things started to change. Once I started to take action, I no longer needed to hope, I was making my own future instead of waiting for somebody else to make it.

You've mentioned elsewhere that you are looking into al-anon meets. Check out their literature while you're at the meeting, and check out several different meetings. You'll find that as you start to take action your life will begin to change, just like all the rest of us here have done.

Mike

really_fed_up

My experience with my ASis is that she'll "stabilize"...for a few days or weeks and then drop off on a lower level again...and again...and again...but each time is worse than the last. In my opinion she doesn't ever get better and she certainly will never be able to get to the point that she can "drink a little". I only wish she could see that for herself.

steve11694

unless they decide to seek and attain meaningful sobriety, it PROGRESSES. some progress faster than others. women are hit harder due to physiologic differences from men.