This is my first time ever
 

I really need to get some perspective if not advice. I've been married for 10 months now to an addict who started with food in his younger years, moved on to alcohol, and then gambling, but wont seek help. He goes to meetings once a week or so but hasn't gotten a sponsor and won't participate in the steps. Lately he has gotten more resistant to communication and refuses to "deal" with me when I need to talk. I know I need to talk to someone else and just be proactive for my sake and hope he eventually does it for himself but I'm afraid we won't make it much longer at this rate. Help!

Welcome to SR!..:wave:

I suggest you read "Co Dependent No More" by M. Beatty
also Toby Rice Drews books.

Blessings to both of you

The books that CarolD listed are awesome.

AlAnon may give you some insight and support for you.

Thanks. I'm glad I finally did this.

I agree, we need to talk to others. You know, sometimes I come in here and baffle on because Im frustrated, worried or feel like Im 100. Its good because there are many fine people in here who will put things into perspective for me. After I read what people have said, I think, "I knew that", so keep coming in here and ask away.

I grew up with an alcoholic father and through the rehab I went to (I am an addict/alcoholic) I attended a 13 week group (the same 8 people the entire time) for Co-Dependents. It wasn't until after attended that, that I could really embrace my sobriety entirely. I had to work through my hurt and pain from my childhood before I could remain sober. It has been almost a year, and my father is still active in his addiction, but I am sober and Al-Anon has allowed me to have a great relationship with my father, on my terms. I can detach with love and offer to take him to meetings when he is here. His girlfriend is an active member of Al-Anon in Mexico where they live (her first husband was an abusive alcoholic). I talk to his girlfriend all the time and we are getting and staying strong while loving him.

One Day at A Time. :ghug3

Welcome, GoodIntentions, glad you're here!

It sounds like he attends some sort of program. Do you? Do you have a sponsor and work the steps? I found Al Anon to be extremely helpful - it introduced me to a way of life I had never considered. The 12 steps are wonderful tools in understanding myself and others.

Keep posting!

Welcome GoodIntentions!!!

I second the book recommendation and Al-anon : )

Keep posting. I have learned a ton and I am still learning from everyone every day.