So selfish
 

I have someone coming over in a few hours to move xabf's furniture into the garage. He as well as the cop are coming today to pick up everything. This way he won't need to get into the house and I won't have to make contact with him.

So he texts me and tells me to get everything off of his TV stand blah blah blah. I probably shouldn't have texted back. I told him it's all waiting for him in the garage.

Along with the text I requested he try to pay me some of the money he owes me. (I know a lost cause). So he texts back and ONLY asks who helped me move his things, and that he wants in the house to make sure I didn't forget anything. His main concern is that I'm seeing someone else which is so funny, as though I'm going to jump into a new relationship.

He thinks I must have someone in my life as he can't believe I changed the locks on my own.


Wow selfishness at it's best.

(((lexusgirl))) It'll be over soon.

You don't have to answer to him. My ex addict bf also thought I was seeing someone else when I moved out. Oddly, it was because he was contacting all his ex gf's.

I would ignore any texts from now on. I know you don't want to eat the money either, but it may be best to do that at this point.

Lexus hang in there your almost done!

Try that no contact thing again! No txt, no calls etc....let him think what he wants to think as it should not concern you anymore-YOU should concern yourself with YOU!

:Val004: Just a suggestion....

Ugghh, sorry Lexus, once you get past this and all his stuff is gone for good then you can go back to focussing on you! I remember the day (July 4th, i'll never forget) i packed up his stuff and literally threw it at him with no bags lol. But that was the last contact, I think having no text, phone or physical contact saved my life. He called and i never called back. It will be over soon and you can thank your lucky stars you get a second chance.

:Val004:

And whats so frustrating is that I have to do all this crap to get his things out, packing HIS stuff not mine, that I haven't really been able to focus on the stuff I need to do.. ie-looking for a new place, packing MY things. etc.

Lex

You're in the middle of this stuff. So it hardly makes sense to suggest that you "ignore" it. No one could.

I hope, in the back of your mind, that you know this will soon be "history" and it is tomorrow that is a "mystery."

Here's hoping that tomorrow is wonderful. And that you can focus on YOU and not HIM. It's YOUR tomorrow, Lex. Please prepare for it.

Best to you,

warren

this time next year you will look back on this and laugh. Selfish is right....and I agree, no more texting him back. It will only enable him to think, "oh, she must still want me", etc... Figures that he would assume you were in another relationship; he must be insecure about something.

just my ~50~ Cents...

lexusgirl - When our house was sold last December, AH was permitted to come and get his "personal" belongings. He chose not to. I put the household belongings (to be divided by court order) in a pod, some with friends, the piano in a warehouse, etc. I am paying the rent on the 2 storage places. AH disappeared for over 3 months.

In the past 10 days, he has surfaced and I am getting letters from his attorneys saying I have denied him access, have sold the stuff, have used it for my new residence, etc. Nowhere in there did anyone mention who took care of packing it all up and paying for the storage.

Last Friday they took me to court over it. More attorneys fees. Yay.

I gave it a hard think. I wrote a letter to my attorney telling her it was far too stressful for me to be the guardian of this stuff any longer and that I was having the pod delivered to AH. Also I was hiring a truck and sending him everything else, which he could then take care of until it was divided per court order.

The next night I got a panicked letter from his attorney saying if it wasn't too late, please do not send the stuff to AH, as where would he store it? Mind you, there was still no offer to pay for storage.

During the past 3 months, I also moved into a new place, bought a new business and continued to run my other business.

It sounds like you want him to act responsibly. He will not. This does not have to take up all your time. I fought these battles for many years. I had to take a good look at myself and see it was mostly about my need to be right. My desire to have him, and the rest of the whole dang world, acknowledge I was a friggin martyr.

I've learned a lot about myself these past 3 months by choosing not to fight this battle with him. Turn it around as a learning experience for you and I will bet you ANYTHING you find a great place to live.

Hang in there.

Isn't that better than having him in the place driving you crazy in person?

Everything is relative.

You probably should not have texted him back. But you did. Your choice.

So why are you pursuing lost causes? I think you need to look at why YOU are doing this and pursue your causes.

His main concern, secondary concern, or any concern is no longer your business. Be glad that he's getting his stuff and getting out of your hair.

Thank you!!!! You all are so wise and so so much support to me. I have TONS of growing and learning to do...it may take years until I am where I need to be..in the meantime I'm grateful today for you all and SR!!!

:ghug:ghug

You are exactly where you need to be--right now. That's the thing about life, even if we could skip the hard parts, it would rob us of the lessons. :)

L

It is so amazing to look back upon my life and realize what a great teacher pain has been. How much wisdom and serenity I have gained by surviving those horribly painful times. It gives me strength (when I remember!) to not always solve my own children's problems for them but instead let them find their own answers, even if at the time they are suffering from pain. A big challenge for a parent, to allow their children to learn from pain, when we spent their younger years protecting them from it :)

Great point LTD and peaceteach! Learn from your mistakes. Although I have made the same mistake a few times now--when will I ever "get it?" That has me very baffled lately.

Lexus, if life was nothing but happy times how would we know thats whay they are?