Tally

He stopped drinking.

I found a uk based recovery site, blogs forums etc..I joined and went there for about 2 weeks before telling him. He joined and within a week had stopped drinking. I don't know if he'd finally had enough and hit his bottom or if he saw how others in the same boat where doing it for themselves, but whatever way it came about, I'm grateful.

He detoxed at home, didn't have too many bad side effects except for the shakes during the first couple of days and an increase in panic attacks. But other than that nothing too bad and kept his sense of humour throughout.

He's been sober for 40 days now and the difference is incredible. He looks younger, his skin is clearer, he's sleeping a full 8 hours instead of napping here and there. His appetite has increased, the panic attacks have all but gone. His blood pressure is back to normal (after being extremely high).

Our money problems have all but vanished, we've got lots to spare this month, lol, and I don't have to watch him drinking himself to death anymore, or listen to the slurring or see the glazed look in his eye.

Physically he's doing great, emotionally I'm not sure. He's not working a program, he still goes on the site I found every day and talks to other people in recovery, reads forum posts, and blogs etc..and that way he's getting alot of support.

Can one abstain completely without the aid of a program?

I'm doing ok...up and down. I'm delighted that he's given up, but obviously wary that he could relapse. I'm finding it a tad hard to adjust and be patient, wanting everything to be normal all at once, but know that it takes baby steps.

So, what I'm asking really, has anyone has their partner recover? And if so, any advice?

Barbara52

I am glad to read things are going well for you both. I pray it continues.

LucyA

Glad it's going well for you both for now.

In reply to your question, I haven't had experience of an A partner, but my brother did something similar in the past. He didn't use a forum, but was sober for about 4 weeks, looked better, ate better, seemed to be doing really well, and told us all he was doing well. Then a mutual friend mentioned he'd been out drinking and seen my brother in a bad state. He'd been lying most of the four weeks.

I'm not saying the case will be the same with your partner, I hope it isn't.

denny57

My husband once stopped for 2 months and it was great.

I think it's a one day at a time thing. Good luck!

jehnifer

Some can do it without a program others cannot. For me it was a godsend. Maybe you could lead by example...find an Alanon meeting for you - to help you through your own recovery process, and see what happens. At a minimum you will be taking very healthy steps toward helping yourself. Perhaps your husband in seeing you do this will discover that meetigns for himself may be a good idea. Try to focus on yourself. Good Luck!

hadenoughnow

Take it one day at a time, my ex quit and was in counseling for a short time and things were great. When he relapsed things were worse than ever, it was the final straw for us. I hope things continue to go well for you.

mazey

You have have had a long road....I will be praying it is a long term success for him. Impressive, actually. Cuz, I think what I have read it usually takes a disciplined program. Good for you all.. day at a time. that's all life gives us, so enjoy! and rejoice!

Tally

Thanks for all the replies :o)

Lucy, I'd know if he where drinking, he can't lie at all and besides that, he doesn't go out really. He was a 24/7 drinker, so it wouldn't be a case of hiding it, he couldn't and to be honest I don't think he'd bother, lol.

I've thought about going to Al-Anon but I'm scared, if I'm being honest, it terrifies me...the thought of walking into a room full of strangers, ack!
I know it would do me the world of good but it's really hard having the confidense to take that first step, ya know?

I'm struggling with responsibilities at the mo, you know obviously that addicts shun them, but he doesn't seem to be in any hurry to take them back.
I feel myself getting inpatient and flustered with him but don't wanna start a fight :s

mazey

Missus, believe that you prolly have been thru alot already! Walking into a al-anon meeting will be relieving hopefully. I can't say they all, but MOST are so welcoming and it just was sheer relief, like a 'washing' when I walked in my first one. I, too, was scared as most of us are, stopped outside the door.....for a lil' while in fact. Almost, turned around. But, when I left almost 'skipped' out! well almost skipped! It may help alot. Transitions are very difficult. Take any help you can find.