AB said it's me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Missouri
Posts: 56
AB said it's me.
Hi all,
I rec'd an email from my AB today. In it he stated he was done with me because I have a problem. He stated that I don't get a long with anyone, family wise. (That's a lie, we are estranged from our sil-has nothing to do with anything I did) He told me I have the problem and I'm not much of a sister. That I think everyone has a problem but me and that he is done with me and I had better rethink. ?? That I've never helped him and he doesn't know why I always think he's wanting money. (That comes from the fact that's all he talks about usually when he calls.)
This email stems from a call last night, from his work place, where he stated that cops were harassing him. I told him they shouldn't be harassing him but that had nothing to do with the fact that he dui and driving while revoked. He instantly got mad and I told him that he wasn't the victim..that he did the crime. He started yelling at me on the phone and hung up. Now I get this email about all my faults. Sure I have faults, but 99 % of email was false. I also noticed it was emailed at 2 am, tells me he was good and drunk.
I've decided not to respond.
I rec'd an email from my AB today. In it he stated he was done with me because I have a problem. He stated that I don't get a long with anyone, family wise. (That's a lie, we are estranged from our sil-has nothing to do with anything I did) He told me I have the problem and I'm not much of a sister. That I think everyone has a problem but me and that he is done with me and I had better rethink. ?? That I've never helped him and he doesn't know why I always think he's wanting money. (That comes from the fact that's all he talks about usually when he calls.)
This email stems from a call last night, from his work place, where he stated that cops were harassing him. I told him they shouldn't be harassing him but that had nothing to do with the fact that he dui and driving while revoked. He instantly got mad and I told him that he wasn't the victim..that he did the crime. He started yelling at me on the phone and hung up. Now I get this email about all my faults. Sure I have faults, but 99 % of email was false. I also noticed it was emailed at 2 am, tells me he was good and drunk.
I've decided not to respond.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by tstorm08 
99 % of email was false.
I've decided not to respond.
I've decided not to respond.
It still hurts when others say such things but where you know and understand the truth, I hope you find it doesn't hurt so much.
Not replying is a very good idea. Why fuel his fire.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Originally Posted by tstorm08
I also noticed it was emailed at 2 am, tells me he was good and drunk.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
It hurts when they say mean and untrue things. I think they know that they are being mean and hurtful......it takes the focus off of them. Ignoring him (and knowing in your heart that what he is saying is untrue) is a good plan.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Great idea not to respond!
In my exp. my XAB use take the "focus off him" by pointing out what a "terrible person" I was. I use to believe that until I realized-more about alcoholism. Today I know better and do not respond to toxic people-They like me or they do not. I really could care less.
I have found when people are
lashing out-they are doing in regards to themselves!
In my exp. my XAB use take the "focus off him" by pointing out what a "terrible person" I was. I use to believe that until I realized-more about alcoholism. Today I know better and do not respond to toxic people-They like me or they do not. I really could care less.
I have found when people are
lashing out-they are doing in regards to themselves!
Last edited by Rella927; 04-04-2008 at 06:33 AM.
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
QUACK QUACK QUACK
That's what my sponsor told me to hear when mine went on a rant. It's just a form of verbal vomit that they spew... but what it REALLY is is their own self loathing spilling out. They are in pain and have such low self esteem they can't possibly feel good about themselves or anyone else. Mine was in so much pain he couldn't possibly look into his own life or his own feelings, so everything was my fault or the kids' fault or someone else's fault.
Once I realized that just because he said it didn't mean it was TRUE my life got better! Detachment is a good thing to learn more about. It really helped me.
Hugs
Cats
That's what my sponsor told me to hear when mine went on a rant. It's just a form of verbal vomit that they spew... but what it REALLY is is their own self loathing spilling out. They are in pain and have such low self esteem they can't possibly feel good about themselves or anyone else. Mine was in so much pain he couldn't possibly look into his own life or his own feelings, so everything was my fault or the kids' fault or someone else's fault.
Once I realized that just because he said it didn't mean it was TRUE my life got better! Detachment is a good thing to learn more about. It really helped me.
Hugs
Cats
Sister of Alcoholic
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: somewhere USA
Posts: 152
Originally Posted by Kindeyes
It hurts when they say mean and untrue things. I think they know that they are being mean and hurtful......it takes the focus off of them. Ignoring him (and knowing in your heart that what he is saying is untrue) is a good plan.
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