nowinsituation

Yesterday morning news broke of a horrible tragedy involving students at my daughter's school. There was an accidental shooting, and a classmate of hers was killed. It is a small school, in a rural area; and the entire community of course has been touched by the senselessness of it. My daughter seems fine, and was not close to either of the students involved. But what I wanted to comment on was . . .

Keep in mind this was the major news story all day yesterday; and daughter and I were at home all evening last night. My AH calls me at work TODAY (left a message) wondering how daughter is doing with all the stuff that went on. I am wondering a few different things myself. First of all, if he is concerned about my daughter why didn't he call and try to talk to HER, last night?? It is just a hook to get me to call him today --- and possibly he was drinking last night and didn't want to call in that condition.

I know it is pointless to try to figure out how the alcoholic mind works. I don't want to call him back. Grrrrrr!!!!

Angelus

Sorry to hear about this tragedy


Your last comment hit it on the head though, keep that in mind. :ghug2

Barbara52

So don't. I see no reason too. As you said if he truly cares, he will call her.

NYC_Chick

Does he have email? A quick email to say she is fine might do.

denny57

Why do you care?

When I started turning it around to me, everything changed. Otherwise, I get diverted by the more intriguing process of guessing what someone else is thinking.

Rella927

Sorry for this situation Now Glad your daughter is safe-blessing to the family of her friend.

And I have to agree "why would you care" ??????

Wondering what the A is thinking I have found IMHO creates my life to be in a world wind that I do not care to be. Focusing on yourself and your daughter right now is something to keep in mind.

IMHO I do not believe it is that he does not care....he is consumed in himself-it is what Addicts do!

Hang in there!

hopeangel

"Why do you care?

When I started turning it around to me, everything changed. Otherwise, I get diverted by the more intriguing process of guessing what someone else is thinking"

denny thanks for this....i really needed to hear this today. this is great.

hadenoughnow

My STBX pulls this same kind of crap all the time (leaving VM's saying that he MUST speak to me about our son etc), when you have a child in common they think that you "have" to talk to them if they use the child as a reason to call. It is annoying I know. If you refuse to talk to them at all you are "uncooperative" and "not acting in the child's best interest". I finally told him that if was going to threaten a custody change then ALL of our conversations would be recorded. That pretty much ended the calls.

nowinsituation

Thanks you all. It was not too long ago I would have got really sucked in to the "what was he thinking?" hole. I did not call him back. I understand that there will be legitimate needs to discuss child-related issues. He knows my cell phone and my home phone number. I am going to ignore calls he makes to my work number or messages he leaves there (unless it is truly an emergency). If he figures it out that he will not get a response unless he calls on my cell or home - fine. If not, that's his problem. It was just a couple of weeks ago I came to work after being sick a day; and there was a message from him from the previous morning. I forget what it was about -- something unimportant. I did call him back and then felt the need to explain why I didn't call him the day before (which was none of his business). Unfortunately he does not have email -- yeah, I know, unbelievable, but that is another story.

Kindeyes

I'm so sorry to hear about the tragedy at your daughter's school. That's awful. How sad for the parents of both kids involved. Thank goodness your daughter is safe.

If you can figure out the what's and why's of an alcoholic's thought process.....write a book! You'll make a fortune!