My relationship with my alcoholic friend is now over

Old 03-30-2008, 01:51 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Dover, Pa
Posts: 21
My relationship with my alcoholic friend is now over

I posted a long time ago about a man I became very close to. I supported him through his rehab and after. We would talk for hours-so much in common but the alcholism. After he got out of rehab looking very healthy, I detached for a number of reasons. He was also seeing another woman at the same time claiming it was platonic with her. I could handle the drinking and recovery issue better then the "other" woman. I got a call yesterday that my friend is in hospice in the very hospital I visited him during his rehab but now he will never go home. He is dying from liver failure less then 9 months after re-hab. I can only assume he started drinking right away. He didn't have a job except once a month. I was told his daughter is there devistated. The last I knew their relationship was strained after the second DUI. Also present at the hospital was the other woman that he claimed he was not exclusive with. I was the during the week companion or when he couldn't go up there. This is his time to be with his child during the last hours or days he has left unless that relationship was much more than he was claiming which I suspect it was. Apparently my instsincts were right about her since she is still in the picture after all this time. I did give up on him and now I have to deal with the what if's and if only's. When around me he did not get exposure to alcohol ever because I don't drink so I guess the disease was just too much for him to overcome.
supporter11 is offline  
Old 03-30-2008, 02:08 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
sailorjohn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Yeah, it really sucks. My brother has been firmly in the grasp of alcoholism for 30 odd years, haven't talked to him in 3 years or so, he hasn't seen any of his family in god knows how long. Never met my son, who's now 17 1/2, nor four nieces/nephews. How f***ed up is that? I just ended a relationship with a woman who's been on that road for over a decade, based on everything I've seen I could easily outlive her, she's 23 years younger than me. I tell myself over and over, I can't do anything about it. My brother's been told, by us and the system, I told HER over and over again. All I can do. My thoughts go out to you. There is nothing you can do beyond telling them.
sailorjohn is offline  
Old 03-30-2008, 04:24 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
denny57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Originally Posted by supporter11 View Post
This is his time to be with his child during the last hours or days he has left unless that relationship was much more than he was claiming which I suspect it was.
This is his time to live his life exactly as he wants. I got nothing but heartache when I tried to control anyone but myself.

I'm sorry you are hurting.
denny57 is offline  
Old 03-30-2008, 04:29 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Dover, Pa
Posts: 21
My friend lost his battle with alcoholism

My friend passed away at 2:00 PM today.
supporter11 is offline  
Old 03-30-2008, 07:18 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
denny57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
I hope he is at peace.
denny57 is offline  
Old 03-30-2008, 07:26 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I hope you'll be able to find peace, too. Did you ever try Alanon? You may still find it helpful.
FormerDoormat is offline  
Old 03-30-2008, 08:47 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
miss communicat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
Originally Posted by supporter11 View Post
My friend passed away at 2:00 PM today.
I am sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is. :praying
miss communicat is offline  
Old 03-30-2008, 09:32 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Keepingmyjoy
 
keepingmyjoy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 328
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you that you will find peace with your decisions in taking care of you. My prayers go out for you during this difficult time.
keepingmyjoy is offline  
Old 03-30-2008, 09:38 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
play the tape all the way thru
 
lexusgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 480
:praying

So sorry for you loss.
lexusgirl is offline  
Old 03-31-2008, 08:32 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
sailorjohn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Sorry I didn't respond earlier, I always feel so inadequate saying anything, and obviously have a difficult time with this, have never actually lost anyone close. My sincere condolences.
sailorjohn is offline  
Old 03-31-2008, 08:40 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 902
Sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you!
NYC_Chick is offline  
Old 03-31-2008, 11:22 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
Ohhh sweetie.....I'm sooooooo sorry for your loss....be gentle with yourself today.
Janitw is offline  
Old 03-31-2008, 06:35 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Kindeyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is so tragic that a life was cut short by this horrid disease.

gentle hugs
Kindeyes is offline  
Old 03-31-2008, 07:17 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
GiveLove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
I'm sorry he made these choices, supporter.

You did the right thing for you.

I'm sorry you're hurting, though.
GiveLove is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:23 AM.