TDinATL

Hey Friends,

For those that aren't familiar with my situations here's the Cliff notes version. Married 9 years, wife has an A issue, separated 6-7 weeks ago, I filed for no-fault divorce and she countered with and at-fault divorce saying I was abusive.

So.... today I get an email from her with the subject 'secrets', here's what it said.

I just wanted to come clean with you about something... You thought I was hiding drinking from you on Wednesday nights. But, to tell you the truth about it I was actually hiding smoking from you. I didn't want you to know I was still smoking some. So, when you thought I was trying to freshen up because of alcohol you were wrong. It was smoke I was hiding. I know it was still not being honest with you about something. But, at least now you know what exactly it was.

There were a couple things that stuck out to me in the email but before I say what they were I wanted to get some opinions from others - I don't think you need to know much about us or our marriage to get what I'm seeing. However, I've had a very strong feeling of lunaticacity lately so I could just be crazy. Even if someone sees the same thing I still reserve the right to be crazy for a while... :-)

Unfortunately I have to look at everything in depth now as my attorney said it all becomes relevant in defending myself.

NYC_Chick

Very interesting. If I were a judge, her admission to lying about anything would be of interest especially if she is claiming you are abusive. Hmmmmm.

As for tactic, DENIAL, DENIAL, DENIAL. Seems logical if she was taking a bath in mouthwash and perfume. It makes her look less bad in her warped mind. I also think that she could be trying to give some admission ANY admission so you don't bring it up in divorce proceedings. "Oh, she was smoking, so I won't bring up the rest of the stuff because NOW she has told the truth." LOL!

prodigal

I'll just speak from my personal, and past experience. I was a smoker. I was a drinker. I no longer partake of cigarettes or alcohol. However, when I drank, a cigarette always tasted so much better. If a drank more, I smoked more. And I'm not even an alcoholic.

iluvmyminpins

Last week, my AH called me in the afternoon. Said his friend had come over, they had a few beers and then they drove around so my AH could show his friend the town. When AH first called, he sounded fine, sober and straight as a board. I didn't have any qualms about him and his friend having a few beers and taking a drive.

Two hours later (after his friend was long gone) he called to say he didn't make the dinner I had set ingredients out for and that we should go out to eat. I could tell he was pretty drunk then.

I came home about an hour after that last phone call. He said him and his friend had gotten high (by smoking pot-something he hasn't done in years) and that is why he seemed so messed up. This was about 3 hours after his friend left and since his friend was the one with the pot, I knew he had just continued to drink.

Alcoholics are great at making up stories to protect themselves. One lie becomes another, which becomes another, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Stay strong brother.

best

Smoking what?

Could be a smoke screen tactic (no pun intended) form of manipulation (my first thought) or depending upon what she is saying she is smoking and your acceptance or not of that substance... it could be truth. I would think that if you don't smoke and she was...you could tell right off unless she took a full shower and changed her clothes when she freshened up *LOL*

Save it off the computer as well as print it if you feel you may need it in court.

Kasey

I feel for ya. I wish I could give you advice. My divorce was a no-fault one. My only suggestion is to keep track of everything you want to keep, get a lawyer, don't get involved in arguments if you can help it.