InsertNameHer

Hi, im new here. And have just about got the hang of how to work it!

Um, I would just like to share some stuff and see if there is some-one out there who feel's the same way i do. Because sometimes i feel like the loniest person in the world.

My dad is an alcoholic, he has been ever since i was little (apparently) But i've only noticed for the past 7 years (im 18 now). At first it only seemed like a drink after work, but then he lost his job and developed uni polar depression (which I now have). Then in 2001 we moved house, only about a mile from where we were, but from then to this present day he has been in hospital over 15 times, with liver and pancreas problems and also when he has DT's. The first time he went into hospital, my mum forced me to see him, it wasnt until recently i found out that all the doctors thought he was going in die. But i refused to see him, i can not stand the man for all the heart ache and tears he has put me and my family through.

During one of his DT fits, i collapsed, apparenly, according to the paramedic i went into shock and was lucky that they were already on their way. All i can rememver from that day was being on the phone and feeling abit dizzy. Then after he comes round from his fit's he just thinks of it as an excuse to start drinking again. I try to understand that he does have an illness and it is not his fault, i deparately want to believe that and the day that he turns to me and says than he's ready to get help, im behind him 200%.

I truely want to love my dad, i was always daddy's little girl as a child. But things got so bad that i blamed him for my depression and we did not speak for over 2 weeks, in which time i turned 18 and he didnt even wish me happy birthday. it just upsets me that my dad will problery not be around to walk me down the isle when i get married or he wont be a grandad. Around 2 years ago he was told that if he didnt stop drinking he would be dead in five years time. In this time he has not tried to get help.

Anyway there is alot more to my story but feel as thought im rambling a bit. But i really just want to know if there are people out there that can understand how i feel (my friends do try but they will never fully understand)

Thanks for taking the time to read xx

Latte

I too grew up with an alcoholic father. I didn't realize it until I began to drink alcoholically and go to AA. He has always held a job (he is now retired) and been married or had serious girlfriends. He is slowly killing himself and been told that several times. He has some serious health issues that are made worse by his drinking or caused them.

I have learned so much in AA and Al-Anon.

Keep coming back. This is a wonderful place. I'm sure there will be others to come along. There are some awesome stickies at the top of the forums.

Bernadette

Hey InsertNameHere and welcome aboard you've found a great place!

My heart goes out to you. Please know that you are not alone. Read as many useful posts as you can on here and keep posting. You might want to get some books and start educating yourself about alcoholism and co-dependency. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. It can be a good and happy life in spite of your father's alcoholism! Have you considered going to AlaTeen or AlAnon? ******* is a pretty big city- there might be alot of meetings to choose from. There you will find anonymous help, fellowship, relief from anxiety and tools for coping with the alcoholic in your life.

My dad was an alcoholic. He got sober when I was 15 and that was a great thing but it wasn't like a miracle that made everything better. A LOT of damage had been done to our family. I now have 3 alcoholic/addict brothers who I love so very much, but I have to cope with their addictions which really SUX!!!!

I have survived thanks to AlAnon. I'm twice your age, and I didn't find AlAnon till I was in my early twenties and one of my brothers had a major crisis due to drinking. It really turned my head around to meet other family members of alcoholics and see that there are strategies that really work if you work 'em to not let the disease of alcoholism also take you down with the alcoholic.

I'm so glad you are reaching out at a young age!!
Courage.
Hugs.
It's the first day of the rest of your life!
Peace,
B.

cmc

Welcome to SR. I hope you will stick around and keep reading as many posts as you can. I also suggest that you take a look at the sticky threads at the top of the forum pages for some helpful reading material.
There are plenty of people here who will understand and share their similar experience with you.

Rella927

Welcome to SR! Please keep posting-Glad that you found us! You will find you are not alone-around here!

I grew up with an A mother and father-and also a few siblings! I'm sorry that you are going through what you are right now-know that you are in the right place!

Kindeyes

Hi and welcome to SR. All of us are here because someone we love is an alcoholic or addict. We all understand the monumental pain that it can cause. You are not alone.

By instinct it sounds like you have already begun to do some of the things you need to do for your own survival. That's a good thing. If you have Alanon or Alateen near you, it would be very helpful for you to attend. If you don't, there are excellent books on codependence that can be very eye opening.

Keep coming back.

gentle hugs

really_fed_up

Welcome to SR, Insert...

I feel your pain; my dad has depression, but my sister is the alcoholic in my life...this forum has been life-saving to me. Stick around...and keep posting. We are all here for you.

Hugs

LucyA

Please 'ramble on' whenever you feel like it, you may not realise it just yet, but reading posts like yours helps a lot of other people. Me for one, I'm sorry I have no useful advice for you, but your post helps reinforce to me that what I'm doing at the moment is the right thing. You're showing me this disease from another point of view. Please stick around and keep posting and reading. Thank you for sharing x

InsertNameHer

Thanks everyone. I think at the moment I'm far too aware of what is going on around and theres only so much my brain can process at once.

I am getting help thou, which is soon to stop next week as my school has cut down on concilors!

Thanks for taking the time you guys xx

Laan

Hi InsertNameHer,
I'm turning 23 soon and also new here.
I cried so bad when I read your story!

I also kinda feel like I'm just rambling on, but it really does help!
Our stories are so much the same...

There are many ppl here to help get through it (even if they don't even know how they've helped - just keep posting - I will & I'll be looking out for your posts!)

All the luck to you! :ghug3