townie

Back in the 80's I remember watching television specials about interventions where all the friends and family would confront a person with a drinking problem at one time and somehow that would be enough to get them into recovery. So, about a year ago, my extended family tried and intervention with a family member. The only problem is that everybody came except the person for whom the intervention was intended. But I don't know if it would have worked anyway because we didn't really have a plan except to tell the person we all agreed that they needed help. After that time, the person has said that they no longer drink (even though they continue to smell like alcohol even at morning family events and we get the occasional call in the night to come pick them up when they are passed out somewhere). Anyway, do people still do interventions? Has anyone ever been a part of one? Do they work? How do you plan for one? Please help me if you can. By the way, this persons wife has quit drinking to try to help him. I told her about alanon. I think that she is thinking of leaving him...which she has every right to do...I just wish there was another way.

Kindeyes

We did two interventions with my A son.

The first one was done without the aid of a professional interventionist.....it backfired terribly.

The second one was done with the help of a professional and our son agreed to inpatient treatment.

I found our interventionist after some research on the internet and telephone conversations with him. He assisted us in planning the intervention and I truly believe that my son would have promptly left if the interventionist wasn't there to help us.

DesertEyes

Hello there Townie, and pleased to meet you

As Kindeyes said, you _really_ need a professional with lots of experience to give an intervention a chance to work. Many years ago I was employed as a counselor at various drug rehabs in Los Angeles. I did lots and lots of interventions. They really are very difficult to do, and all they acomplish is to get the alkie _started_ on treatment. Nothing more. Getting an alkie to _stay_ in treatment has to come from within.

There _is_ another way. In fact there are several other ways. They all start with getting help from someone who has experience in this area. Al-Anon, as you have already suggested, is essential. Unless the family has some kind of organized support behind them, they will lack the experience with which to handle the mountain of "games" and excuses that the alkie is going to launch. If not al-anon then a therapist.

You mentioned that you get calls in the night to go pick him up. That qualifies _you_ for al-anon. Clearly you care deeply about this person, and that is where al-anon can help you. You can also bring that persons wife over her to SoberRecovery and introduce her. There's a lot of very kind and very wise people here who can help her clear her mind so she can make good decisions.

Mike

townie

Thank you Kind Eyes and Desert eyes for the suggestions and encouragement. I will try to do a little internet searching for a therapist with experience in this field and/or an interventionist. I have attended a 12 step group for co-dependants in the past....so I have some familiarity with the concepts. I recently changed jobs and am not able to attend where I was previously attending (only for about 3 months). Anyway, my husband is actually the one who goes out on the middle of the night calls which necesitate someone big enough to lift an over six foot tall passed out adult.....But I do care, not just because I don't like the middle of the night calls, but also because I care very much about the children in that home who are my neice and nephew....and I just think now is the time to plan so the next time there is something that feels like a crisis ....with work or law enforcement or safety for the children issues...maybe the next time we will be prepared with a plan which requires some action and not just a bunch of promises that never amount to much in the end.

FormerDoormat

Humm, responses from KindEyes and DesertEyes. Apparently, all eyes are on you, which is as it should be. None of us on this forum can help the alcoholic in our lives, but we can offer help and support to you.

As Mike said above, if somebody else's drinking is affecting your life, Alanon is the answer.

Spiritual Seeker

Love First: A New Approach to Intervention for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction
(A Hazelden Guidebook)
by Jeff Jay and Debra Jay
This book is available from Amazon and shows families step by step what to do.