feeling uneasy
 

I am feeling so uneasy today. Whenever I make a large purchase I get this sick feeling in my stomach. I get afraid that I made a big mistake and that my world will come crashing down. I know this is not true, but that is the way I respond and today is one of those days.

Our van broke down last week and needs a new motor and we will not be repairing it because of the mileage. I have been researching what new car to buy for at least six months now and decided on one. I did a lot of research on the best way to buy the car and yesterday I did buy one. I got a really good price, a good interest rate on teh loan with reasonable monthly payments. So why do I feel so sick? I have such a tremendous need to be right, like if I am wrong the world will crumble. I want to purge this pattern from my life but it remains.

There is also this deep message that says that I should suffer and get by with as little as possible to prove how good and strong I am. Crazy I know, but it is one of my basic beliefs that is hard to put aside after all these years.

Please say a prayer for me, that I can calm my stomach and give myself a break. Thanks for listening.

Rose,

I know when I buy something I am sure I will find it cheaper somewhere else...and sometimes I do. Large purcahses drive me crazy because I value a buck and I don't want to see something I like better later. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I diagnose you as normal. I know you value a buck and you did your research and then some. Go forth with confidence...you did all you could.

Keep it simple
JT

Hi Rose,
I get the same feelings when I make big purchases or make big decisions... I figure its because I don't value and believe in myself enough - I am not an ASSERTIVE "get what I want" kind of gal... Even when its the simplest thing, like what gift to buy for someone... I second guess my decision... "what if he doesn't like it, what if someone else got the same thing, what if it's not expensive enough/too expaensive"... It literally takes me hours! Perhaps your just like me and you don't quite TRUST yourself to take care of things :rolleyes:
Take care
Meg

Thanks Ladies,
I am feeling more calm this morning and I do love my new "wheels"!!!! But believe it or not I have feelings of loss for my minivan as I drove it for 6 years. I don't want to let it go. This has been a season of loss for me: my cat, my dog, and my minivan. Well that also means a season of growth and moving forward. The loss of the minivan also symbolizes the kids leaving home. As my son just graduated from high school and my daughter will be a senior in hish school this year. No more need for a minivan and of course the teenagers wouldn't get caught driving it!!! Anyway I can breathe better this morning. thanks