Over and Over Again
 

Man...people I must tell you that I go to 2 codie meetings a week, theraphy 1x a week, and church 1x a week....

What am I missing? I know I said I wanted to do a boundary but took the 1st step by writing down my boundary. I had been praying on the boundary b/c I know that I must go through with my adjustment when and if she stepped over her boundary.

Well, it continues to happen. Alcohol and my partner is not my friend...at all! I hung out with her on Sat. evening to Sun. morning and no alcohol was involved. I was to meet up with her at a 7pm wake at a church. I got there on time she came in when it was over. It was clear to me, I could be wrong, that alcohol was in play. I went to a dance club to see dancers of the dance I'm studying and she shows up. I ask her to have a seat she says no I'm not staying long. She let her kids go out to dinner by themselves to come and find out what was wrong with me.

Long story short, there was drama! I know I play a big part but don't like when someone does respect my No's and Yes's. When I say no I don't want to dance, not at this time, I mean it. She kept asking me questions all night instead of enjoying the night. I asked her had she been drinking besides the club she first said yes then I asked again and she said no! Just drama in the club...make loud talks and coming into the bathroom and asking me again and again whats wrong. I said I want to enjoy myself now we have spent 30 or more minutes on questions that I've answered over and over again...and negative energy..I have begun to work step 4...last night was a deja vu!:wtf2

God help ME!

seems you may have a misunderstanding of what boundaries are..

They are self governing rules for one's inner peace and protection.

They are not threats to make another do what we want...or else.

A boundary is a self determined choice I make to keep myself from harm. When I make a boundary, I place it upon myself not others.

Example:
I choose to not be in the presence in person or via phone with a person under the influence of alcohol.

Now, that doesnt mean the person who drinks must be sober around me. I may ask them to respect my new self imposed rule, however, I will not expect them to respect that. That rarely do. So, that means if they choose not to respect me, and come into my presence drunk, I leave.

I am the one with the boudnary, I am the one required to enforce it.

Boundaries dont make people shape up, they make ME shape up to perserve the self respect I have developed.