lexusgirl

The mood around here tonight is very somber. Exabf and I had a talk regarding our house, when I plan to move out etc. We got a little into talking about his drinking and our relationship, and I just said lets not go there it will just end up in an argument.

As I walked away, he came upstairs and just said "I'm sorry, I'm just so sorry for everything that has happened." He hid behind the corner so I couldn't see him. I could tell he was crying. He knows I mean business and that I am really leaving this time.

And you know what, this is really sad. Deep down inside I love him a lot, but I am so thankful that I'm getting out now, while it's still early.

This disease destroys so much....

NYC_Chick

Sorry you are going through so much right now. It's difficult, but you'll get through it and life on the other side will be so much brighter.

I'm a little further out of the break-up now and try each day to find a little piece of light in all this. It's really hard because like you, I'm still very in love with my xabf, but I'm just to the point where I'm not so focused on all the good things. I'm starting to remember all the chaos and the fights and all the tears I cried. Even my worst day without him is better than my worst day with him.
:ghug

LaTeeDa

Yes, it is.

(((lexusgirl)))

L

Janitw

Hunny my thoughts are with you ....we know how hard it is to have to part due to this disease but just be glad that you didn't waste 20+ years of your life and THEN find all this out. Sadly like a lot of us. Keep that pretty chin up as you walk out that door and keep it up okay?

hbb

(((lexusgirl))) big hugs to you. It is sad, but you sound strong and ready to move on with your own life. Janit and the others are right, it's better to know now than much later down the road. It's still hard for me to accept that.

hugs to you.

lexusgirl

I'm so lucky to have you guys!:ghug2

I just got home from looking at a house and trying to invision myself living there alone, it makes me so sad...but you know what? I kind of miss being alone and on my own, and away from the drama..

Thank you all for your kind words and hugs, it means so much to me

peaceteach

There is so much peace and serenity to be found in a house without drama. Keep moving forward. I hear a little hope in that sadness, trying to peek out.

Rella927

Yes it is very sad and the disease is just awful-

I'm glad to see that you are making the choice that is right for you!

Stay strong-your not alone!

carolineb

AMEN!

lexusgirl

Thank you all for your insightful and kind words

I am feeling very sad at the moment..he woke me up this morning to tell me he was leaving for the weekend. Going to his families house three hours away. They all are A's except for his Grandma. His A uncle is 45 and lives upstairs in his Mom's house and brews his own beer and moonshine (wonderful) his Grandma is an avid Al Anon member and has been for a long time so I guess it baffles me how she allows him to live there and enable him?

Exabf asked if there was anyway I would take him back and I just said no, as he is unwilling to get help and remains in denial. He started crying hysterically and just left. Very sad as he never cries. Guess we are all in pain...this is so hard...

sweetpea40

Stay strong sweetie...
I will be praying for him and you.
God Bless,
Machele

lexusgirl

((((((((((Machele)))))))))))
Thank you for the prayers...

AnotherAnais

Good luck to you ... you are doing the right thing.