Disqusting but I need tell someone

Old 03-14-2008, 08:26 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Sorry you are going through this, my prayers are with you. It is very frustrating, I know. If my AH makes a mess in the house (like peeing the bed, etc) and it bothers ME, I will clean it up because I live here too and he really has gotton to the point where he doesn't care much anymore. I just keep telling myself that I won't be doing this forever and look forward to the day when I can live on my own again.
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Old 03-14-2008, 08:35 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Starr View Post
...and if I did any of these things suggested that I do, I pay the consequences of his anger. I fear his anger. My first instict was to just leave it and throw a fit when he came back or call his cell and tell him he needs to do something about this. If I left it for him, he'd never clean it up, he really doesn't care or maybe just wipe a spot or two. Then he'd be angry and life would be even more miserable than now. He's home gotta get off internett.
I feared my A's anger too-I stayed in that victim role for a long time-As LaTee stated it is not easy but as long as we tell ourselves that we do not have a choice we remain in that victim role.

Mine became abusive to the point I will not even get into-but it was HORRIBLE-I look back now and know why I allowed myself to stay in that situation as I thought no one knew what I was going through-and I knew how to keep him calm etc....BLAH BLAH! WRONG!

Today I know that I do have choices just as they do-I have manged to maintain no contact with my 51 yr old brother that continues to call leave messages drunk/crying etc...that is his choice and my choice is to not speak to him!

I believe that you have found this board and it appears that you have been here awhile and IMHO you have read enough to know that you are not alone and that it will only get WORSE! Please make that call that Laurie stated and find yourself without the "crap" in your life!

to you
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Old 03-14-2008, 08:44 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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as long as we tell ourselves that we do not have a choice we remain in that victim role.
Amen!
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Old 03-15-2008, 01:46 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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What a great metaphor for what so many of us have gone/are going through. When my husband was here briefly recovering from his wreck he bled all over my sofa and towels. It was symbolic to me as well. What a relief when he finally left and I could clean up the mess so I would be comfortable in my own home again.
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Old 03-16-2008, 07:49 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Id'a taken that dog crap and mixed it in a large batch of ground beef and made the most delicious meat loaf man (and dog) ever tasted.

Woulda prepared quite a spread of food, left on kit table just for him to eat it all.

*$#&($&#(*^Q*&%^ sumabeotch!
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