Confused again!!!

Old 03-13-2008, 10:08 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your words of wisdom and experience. I feel less confused as time goes on. Its not easy, I keep getting pangs of hurt and I feel like I just want to sit and cry, but I'm keeping my tears at bay by forcing myself to remember why i am doing this. I must be really delusioned to love a person who may have stolen from me, and who has emotionally and verbally abused me. Its just that each time I think these thoughts, I also think that this was due to the drinking, which leads me back to if he recovers from this..... However, I know now that he isn't recovering at this time and that I cannot live with him anymore because of the never ending circle of stopping, starting, being horrid, stopping, starting... That was draining me and hurt so much that I know for my own sake I cannot go down that path with him anymore.

I can see now that he hasn't really made any progress, and I have decided that going to AA meetings alone isn't recovery. Looking back I don't know why I thought it was!

Originally Posted by appleblaster View Post
Have you ever made a list of dealbreakers?
Nope, never. Just tried to think of some, and nothing came to mind, how bad is that!!! I'm going to start one though because I am adamant that I am going to make some changes about myself and how I respect myself.

My dealbreakers...
1) Stealing
2) Cheating
3) Lying

Well thats a start. I'd be interested to know other peoples breakers for ideas?

Thanks again to you all for helping me through another bump on my road!

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Old 03-13-2008, 10:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Lilyflower View Post
My dealbreakers...
1) Stealing
2) Cheating
3) Lying
I notice a very large hole in your list. Is continued active alcoholism a deal breaker for you?
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Old 03-13-2008, 10:28 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Barbara52 View Post
I notice a very large hole in your list. Is continued active alcoholism a deal breaker for you?
Yes! Thanks that can be number four! Why aren't I thinking of these things myself? Its like I'm asking my brain to think of things and its coming up a blank. Do you suppose its because I've never even considered these things before? I guess also my self respect must be quite low because looking at my list, there isn't much you can do to cheese me off completely.

Lily xxxxxxxxx
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Old 03-13-2008, 10:33 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Its a process Lilyflower. One that takes time and willingness to look deeply into our lives and our inner selves. Its painful and difficult. But you are working on it and that is the important part. If you happen to receive some further insights thru what you see here, well, isn't that why we're here to begin with?
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Old 03-14-2008, 04:58 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Thanks Barbara, i feel good about considering these things. I'm obviously starting to move into a whole new direction for me, which can only be a good thing! Its helped to see other people's ideas, I read things that people have stated they would not accept and I think ''I wonder why I never considered that?'' It's definately a positive step for me.

Lily xxxxxxxx
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