son in homeless shelters

Old 06-24-2003, 08:00 AM
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son in homeless shelters

My son called collect from a library last night. He was evicted from his apartment (again) and has just some clothes with him. After years of enabling, we now understand that we have no control over his life, and must let him live the life he chooses. This is a handsome, once popular, athletic young man, who seems to be totally oblivious to what he is doing to himself. His drugs of choice now seems to be Adderall (sp?) with Paxil and Xanax and probably beer. My heart is so sad. I find I must pray for God to take this from me, or I stay tense all day. Aren't these supposed to be the good years? Going to an alanon meeting tonight to get back on track.
Old 06-24-2003, 08:05 AM
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I will say a prayer for you and your family. And please try to take good care of YOU, you're worth it!

Many hugs and hope too,
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Old 06-24-2003, 08:34 AM
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Letting go is the right thig to do, and I know how hard this is for you because I have been through the same thing with my son.

My experience is that when they actually hit the streets and become homeless, as awful as that is, it is often the turning point when they reach out for a program or help to get back on track with their recovery. The hardest thing I ever did was to not let my son come home, and it was also the best thing I ever did for him and for me.

Most shelters have counsellors to speak to and access to recovery programs for those who want it. The ones I have seen have clean beds and rooms and good hot food. I actually had to go to the rooms one time with a man from the Salvation Army to retrieve my son's things while he was in rehab waiting for program, and that is when I saw first-hand that these places are very livable and offer support. I think God took me there because I was never afraid of them again.

Go to your meeting, find all the support you need, say a prayer and know that God watches over our children.

My hugs and prayers go out to you and your son too.
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Old 06-24-2003, 09:45 AM
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I want to send you a (((((cyber hug)))))). I have been there and nothing I can say can make it go away. What you are doing is the right thing. Both in allowing your son to suffer his own consequences and by praying for strength.

I try to keep in mind that God has a plan and I do what I can to stay out of it.

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Old 06-24-2003, 12:40 PM
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You are doing the tight thing. Letting him back and smoothing things over will only hurt him further. He has to experience natural consequences of his actions.

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Old 06-25-2003, 08:24 AM
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my heart is with you , having an alcoholic daughter myself, I feel your torment.
But when we let go we do allow God to work in their life without us standing in the between to protect them from hurt, the way we did when they were little.
alanon has taught me so many things i didnt know and there is so much love and support there as these boards also help in between meetings.
God Bless your boy. Ann's (post above) didnt get to where she is over night,
but one day at a time we learn to trust our HP and his wisdom for each of our lives.
Be kind to yourself, these can still be our best years jinx, day by day I see the world in a different light then i did before all the rotten stuff hit the fan , Because of the alcoholics in my life I have found a new freedom in letting God do his thing. He doesnt need my interferrence and that has ben a rewarding freedom.
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