Angelus

As a supplement to my first thread.

How do you tell someone you've spent months, years with that you can't have them in your life anymore?

I feel like a victim of my past codependency and complacence. I simply don't know if I have the strength to escape.

denny57

Without knowing specifics, I don't know. There was one person I told flat out. Others - the relationships have died naturally because I'm doing for me.

((( )))

Angelus

I'd prefer they just fade out as I start taking care of myself. Basically make myself unavailable by doing the things I need to do. I really do not want a Soap Operatic confrontation.

denny57

This is exactly what happened for me. When I have nothing in common with people, I cease to hang out with them.

Good luck!

AnotherAnais

I think that if you start doing activities that are healthy, that don't involve substances, a lot of these people will very quickly fall by the wayside.

I could be wrong, but I don't think a lot of energy vampires would jump at "Hey! Let's go down Saturday night and work at the soup kitchen!" (Not that it's the only thing you could do, by a long shot.)

My circle had one really annoying woman who was just a PITA when she drank. I have no idea if she was an actual alcoholic. But she was DEFINITELY a PITA. We quit drinking with her, but still politely invited her to things like yoga, the odd coffee date or school fair. She drifted away pretty quickly.

Cindi R

Gently... kindly...with love if possible.
You know, "it's not about you...it's about me"...