Why does he drink when he knows . . .
Living in a Pinkful Place
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Why does he drink when he knows . . .
This Reading is from ODAT in Al-Anon February 27, (pg 58)
Eventually, if I listen attentively enough at meetings, and read my Al-Anon literature with real concentration, I will absorb the new point of view I need. When I ask: "Why does he drink when he knows it damages him and his family?" I really mean: "How can he justify what he is doing?", implying a condemnation I have no right to make. Al-Anon teaches me that the drinker knows no more about his compulsion than I do. I know he suffers from it, too. I will not waste time and energy trying to "figure out the alcoholic," I will concentrate on figuring out why I do what I do.
Today's Reminder
Trying to analyze why another person persists in destructive behavior cannot help me out of my own difficulties. I can overcome them only by turning my thoughts inward, to face my own mistakes and to learn how to improve myself. The alcoholics is not my problem. My problem is me.
"Although all men have a common destiny, each individual also has to work out his personal salvation for himself . . . We can help one another find out the meaning of life . . . But in the last analysis, each is responsible for 'finding himself.'" (Thomas Merton: No Man Is an Island)
I have spent many hrs, days, months, yrs trying to figure out the why? - My recovery and this reading has helped me to learn that the "why" is not so important. What is important, is that I am learning how to take care of ME - to set boundaries, to do what is healthy for me - regardless down what path the A's in my life have to walk.
Sending out prayers and good thoughts that this will help each of you in your journey to taking care of YOU - One Day at a Time.
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita
Eventually, if I listen attentively enough at meetings, and read my Al-Anon literature with real concentration, I will absorb the new point of view I need. When I ask: "Why does he drink when he knows it damages him and his family?" I really mean: "How can he justify what he is doing?", implying a condemnation I have no right to make. Al-Anon teaches me that the drinker knows no more about his compulsion than I do. I know he suffers from it, too. I will not waste time and energy trying to "figure out the alcoholic," I will concentrate on figuring out why I do what I do.
Today's Reminder
Trying to analyze why another person persists in destructive behavior cannot help me out of my own difficulties. I can overcome them only by turning my thoughts inward, to face my own mistakes and to learn how to improve myself. The alcoholics is not my problem. My problem is me.
"Although all men have a common destiny, each individual also has to work out his personal salvation for himself . . . We can help one another find out the meaning of life . . . But in the last analysis, each is responsible for 'finding himself.'" (Thomas Merton: No Man Is an Island)
I have spent many hrs, days, months, yrs trying to figure out the why? - My recovery and this reading has helped me to learn that the "why" is not so important. What is important, is that I am learning how to take care of ME - to set boundaries, to do what is healthy for me - regardless down what path the A's in my life have to walk.
Sending out prayers and good thoughts that this will help each of you in your journey to taking care of YOU - One Day at a Time.
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita
Recovering Codependant
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Thanks for this. I needed to be reminded about this today, that I am working on me and that he needs to work on him. The whys? are getting quieter in my mind although they haven't quite gone away.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxx
Lily xxxxxxxxxxx
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