quitting his job?!
 

Hi again-
last night, my ah came home and announced that "tomorrow might be my last day" at work. he wants to quit because, oh it is just too much, etc,etc. he has no plan in place to provide health ins. for our sons and me, no prospects for another job, and says he"just cant handle it". well, sorry about your luck, buddy!!
i am going to apply for ins. through my job for the boys and i, but i think its up to him to take care of himself at this point. i have been steering towards the day when he's no longer living with us, but i think now i need to accelerate the process.
i have been praying about my decision to separate from him, which will mean having him leave my house. i think his "announcement" last night is helping to confirm that it is the right thing to do.
i am tired of having his lack of responsibility or concern for his family keeping me guessing.
i am still pissed off at him and looking forward to the day when i wont be.

Sounds like he might fear getting fired. Who knows.

Take care of you and your children. My experience was it got worse pretty quickly after this kind of stuff started happening.

((()))

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this dreaded disease. Children make it an even more difficult situation. You sound like you have a plan for you. That's wonderful.

My A son has had so many jobs....he's quit so many jobs. He would usually start to make a lot of noise about how awful the job is and how everyone there is stupid, etc. My guess is that his employer would usually see the behaviors associated with alcoholism and begin to discipline him. My son would see the writing on the wall (that he was heading toward being fired) and he would quit before they fired him. That's how he would protect himself and the addiction. It was always someone else's fault.

gentle hugs to you and your boys.

My AH just got promoted. He does very well at work despite his addiction. He came home yesterday and announced that he had an offer from his old job making half the money and no benefits and he wants to take it. Here is where the "argument" comes in. His old employer hires the bottom of the barrel junkies. It was while working there that he lost control maybe because they all think it is cute to go out to the bar at lunch and drink and then follow that up after work for some more. I have an issue with that. My stand is that if he goes back there we are through. He has left once over this issue and I was actually ok with that. This time he says that I am making him choose or giving him an ultimatum. I can see his point, but when he came back before I told him that I would not change my mind about that place or the people they employ and that if he truly had to go back there to be happy then to go, we just were not going to go with him. I dont think that is unfair. I know what that will bring and I dont want any part of it.

He says "why do I have to be the one to carry the health insurance?" my answer: because my job doesnt offer it.

YOU need to do what you need to do.... I am always amazed that they can rationlize the most stupid ideas :a043:
keep strong

shakarris

I know plenty of workers that do this, they aren't all A's. Control is lost through the self, not through your peers influence IMHO.

Lily xxxxxxxxxxx

Sounds like you have a plan. Is it an option for you to find another job that offers benefits? The less I rely on someone with alcoholism the more secure I become.

I have options and I keep them open. It just frustrates me that not only is he willing to throw everything away, but that we have to give up on the dream that was promised.

This got me thinking, can anyone promise a dream? As I perceive it, a dream is fantasy until it is fulfilled and then it is a reality, I don't see a inbetween.

Lily xxxxxxxxxxx

I learned that my dream was only in my head, lol. I convinced myself that he had the same dream, but I was only kidding myself. I've also learned to dream for me alone, and not to make it dependent on anyone else. :)

L

nice picture of the eclipse, anvilhead!! I was watching it last night with my son who is at home and talked to the one away at college. AH was passed out by then.
I got set up to get insurance from where i work, did that today.
also opened an account in my name only.
by the end of the day, i was in tears. it seems i am always having to scramble to take care of the family when he gets some "brilliant" idea.
I'm looking forward to some peace. its what keeps me going.

My AH frequently pulled these sort of stunts, taking layoff, making me pay for his insurance, saying that he didn't think he should have to work because I make a lot of money. Last year I made him take his employer insurance, he had a fit despite the fact that it would save us $400 a month! It took me a few years to figure out that his goal was to slowly make me fully responsible for our bills AND his expenses then quit or get himself fired and sit home. I used to worry constantly that I would end up losing everything I've worked so hard for to him because he had no income.
Well guess what? Tomorrow he is bringing me the signed divorce papers that give me the house and give him NO rights to any of my assets or income, current or future (he has his own 401k and pension).

I know the sick feeling you have in your stomach right now, I've felt it many times.