Daisy30

Well yesterday I was feeling very overwhelmed with the thought making an offer on a house etc... I just couldn't shake the feeling. I started realizing that this was so much more than just the house thing.

It was about living this lie and keeping up appearences while secretly living in choas.
My emotions took the better of me and I was having a hard time keeping it together yesterday. It was difficult functioning.
After a few incidents with AH after dinner ...I decided to leave.

I looked him straight in the told him he was sick and he needed help. That I couldn't do this. I took the kids and went to my mom's.

So I talked to my mom and she said she will support me in my decisions what ever they are.

He called his mom and had her come over last night. I think she was afraid he might try to hurt himself. He told her everything. This is the first time our parents are finding out about his alcoholism.

He told me this morning that he needs to get this right because he can't keep putting his family through this. He also said that he understands if I don't want to come home and that I have to do what is best for me (yep!).
He went to a meeting this morning...met with another guy from AA (not the new "drinking sponsor") and he is going to counceling this afternoon.
He also said he would move out for a while If I wanted to stay at the house.

So now I am left here to think...what do I want?
I amda an appt. with my councelor for tomorrow morn.

Spiritual Seeker

Good positive steps for yourself.
Yes, at this point what is best for you and the children?
It must be a relief to talk about it with your family and stop having the weight of secrets.

Growing

"So now I am left here to think...what do I want?
I amda an appt. with my councelor for tomorrow morn."

Although painful and difficult, being left there to think, "What do I want?" is a beautiful place to be.

kermit

Yippee! I think you are on the right track. How are the kids?
For me it was better that my AH moved out and we stayed in the home so the kids could be with their things. It worked out for us.. The right thing will work out for you too. Good luck and keep working on you!
Thoughts and prayers for all of you
Kermmie

hadenoughnow

I think it would be good for you and the kids if you took him up on his offer to move out (do it now before he changes his mind). I begged my AH for a separation and he refused (me leaving hoping he would pay all the house bills in my name was not an option) as I tried to detach his behaviour escalated (he flipped out one night over me wanting a car in my own name, threatened to kill himself and took off and did a bunch of crazy drunk dialing) and now we are divorcing.

peaceteach

Well yesterday I was feeling very overwhelmed with the thought making an offer on a house etc... I just couldn't shake the feeling.

Something that I have learned in dealing with addicts is to absolutely 100% TRUST MY GUT when it's telling me to NOT do something. Sounds like you trusted yours in this situation. That overwhelmed, anxious feeling is like a sixth sense, your higher power probably, warning you through your body that THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!! Start trusting your instincts because I can almost guarantee they will lead you in the direction that is best for YOU, Daisy.

Great job in leaving during your anxiety, girl. No matter where you wind up with the kids, it's a start in the right direction. Be sure to take a few moments to yourself to just breathe and relax. You don't have to do any more (for now) than you've already done in the past 24 hours. It doesn't all have to be solved over night.

Daisy30

I thought about it and decided that I wanted to come home...only if he had made arrangements to go somewhere else. He called me once he had got his stuff and found a place to stay.

So I then went back home.

These next few days will be difficult. I asked my mom to come stay with me tonight. I plan on going to a meeting tonight.

peaceteach

Your momma must be worried to death for you. Thank God you have her, huh?

Daisy30

kermit The kids are doing well. I am blessed to have such good kids!

Shivaya

Hi Daisy30,

I'm so proud that you listened to your "inner voice". I know this is so hard to go through, but as I've read here so many times....Nothing changes if nothing changes.

So, keep your children and yourself warm, safe and secure in your home, while your AH does what he needs to do.

I am following your "life story" on here, as I know that I too, may end up dealing with this same situation.

Keep strong, you are doing the right thing for you and the kids.

Shivaya