DESIGNER

Hi everyone. I have been being so strong lately and everyone around me has noticed but tonight I am alone and I am breaking. I just had a major anxiety attack over all the life changes that are happening right now and I just need to type.

For all who don't know the abf and I are going through a breakup(still lives with me for the next 3 weeks), getting my own apartment, recieved a promotion and started that job today etc....... I know that I will be ok in the long run but tonight I just broke down and cried. Like I said I know things will be ok but I am just scared of all the changes. I know that change is scary and can be great in the end but it just freaks me out.

I am a person that that likes a routine-don't really like change. I think that is why I have held on to the abf for so long. I have always known deep down inside of me that it was not right but I have ignored it for sooo long and now I am finally facing my fears and man it is tough.

The job thing and money thing is also a huge factor. I went into my job today and instead of doing all the things that I used to do at my other job I was faced with all this responsiblity. With added responsibility comes a lot more money for me but I am still afraid of not being able to do the job. I have great friends at my work and I know that they will help me to learn the job but it is just overwhelming.

I am feeling better though just typing this all out. I know I will survive this but I just had an anxiety attack and if you have ever had one you will know that it is very scary.

Thanks everyone for reading....just needed to get it out.

hope2bhappy

For some of us, I think the fear of change is what keeps us standing still in our same circumstances year after year. We stay where we are, because it is what we know, and it has become comfortable (chaos and all). Maybe you feel as if you are about to set foot in a foreign land where no one speaks English. I think these momentary break downs are understandable. You are leaving a sick life for a new healthy life. You are very strong and brave. As you said, you will be fine.

Shivaya

Hi Designer,
Sorry about your panic attack. Certainly understandable with all you are going through.

But there are so many positives here as you pointed out. Breaking up with your ABF, getting your own place, promotion at work, etc. All good things, coming to a good person.

I can feel strong all day, and then something "clicks", and I am crying. I am thinking it's just part of the process, and even if you are 100% positive you are doing the right thing, you can still be sad for the loss.

So...take good care of yourself, buy yourself a huge bouquet of flowers tomorrow, you deserve it!

Shivaya

venusinlibra

Congratulations on all the positive changes in your life. Change can be scary but exciting at the same time. Keeping busy will help you focus on what's right in your life. Good luck!

AWEDA

Change is hard for us codies,I believed thing would get better so I hung in there. Then 2 kids added to the mix I felt "trapped". One day it hit me I had to get out and make "changes" . I was frightened, also had panic attacks for the first time in years.It has been 2 months almost since my new life began and things are falling into place.I had to leave a job I loved to go to another that gave me more money and more hours. There have been days where I feel I won't make it,thank goodness I have great friends and family. Do you have outside support? It's okay to lean on others when you need them,I never liked asking for help. Now I know I would not have made it this far without the comforting people in my life. You can do this I know it's hard....Take a deep breath and go forward,change is scary but also very good.God Bless......

cagefree

Boy does that sound familiar.

When XABF exited my life, many changes happened...immediately.

I got a promotion and a huge raise. I took a motorcycle rider training class and got my motorcycle license. I bought a new car. My house looks completely different since I redid the entire downstairs.

It was terribly uncomfortable at first...but now I come home to peace and serenity. This became my new routine, which I have grown to love and cherish.

Hugs ((((Designer))))

denny57

I'm still spinning from all the changes and milestones I had in 2007. It's a good spin, though.

Hang in there, Designer - the panic attacks left when my day to day interaction with an alcoholic was over.

((()))

nowinsituation

I know how you feel. You've got to be patient with yourself and give yourself time to adjust. I am just coming through major changes, myself. Two moves in 4 months time; and filing for divorce. I was a pillar while it was going on -- then sat there in my new house scared to death crying like a baby. Rely on your HP -- know you are not alone and you will have the strength to get through it.

Lilyflower

I've had panic attacks too and suffer from anxiety. The best thing I know to help when one comes on is to control your breathing, count to 5 with each intake hold for 3 and then breath out slow for 5. This helped me, because I would find I would begin to hyperventilate. The breathing pattern ensures you are taking deep breaths and not breathing shallow and too fast. Other than that take a long hot bath and put on some feel good music.

I think you are doing so well. I am sure that as time goes by, you will be so glad you took this step.

Keep on truckin'
Lily xxxxxxxxxx

karmakoma

It's only natural, I think. I know I still have moments when I get into a tailspin and I am long out of the situation and am only tying up some loose ends.

I find that giving myself permission for some downtime works wonders, including letting some chores slide for a while. Change can be scary, especially if I don't let my brain catch up with reality. Hang in there - in a month's time it will all be much more manageable.

Daisy30

((())) I know the feeling... and you are right it is scary. It is like jumping into a black hole. Thanks