SerenitySeaker

My AH has been in FL for the past week. I have since moved out of the house with most of our belongings and our pets.

i believe that he actually got back into the area today but is staying with his girlfriend tonight.

I left him a three page letter telling him that I have to love myself enough to not be his doormat anymore. I also explained that I'm not giving up on him just loving him enough to let go.

Doubt he will even read letter. Just very scared that he will come to my job tomorrow and raise hell.

I have gotten overwhelming support that I have done the right thing. But I'm still fearful of how things will shake out as I know it won't be pretty.

My girlfriend who is in recovery reminded me that if he calls I do not have to answer the phone. Or if I do and he is being crazy I can say call me back if you want to talk vs scream.

I'm really just scared and hoping someone can give me some words of strength since I always seem to find what I need most right here on this board.

Thanks in Advance.

shakarris

Hang in there - you know you did had you had to for YOU...

we are here .. you are not alone

thinking of you .....:ghug2

shakarris

Barbara52

A way I find efective to battle fears is to write them down and come up with a plan to counteract each one. For instance, you are afraid he'll show up at work. What can you do in case he does that? Notify your boss, security, the cops even that he may come and cause a scene. You might also try logically rating how likely each thing is to actually happen or whether its something you are just dreaming up and isn't likely to happen.

You friend is right. You don't have to answer your phone.

You can get thru this. The next couple of days are likely to be the worst as you wait to see if you fears are real. If you have a plan to deal with the potential situations, you will feel much stronger I think.

Daisy30

((())) I hope everything goes smoothly for you. The unknown can drive you crazy. You got some good advise from your friend. Remember try to state your reasons just once. Try not to buy into an argument.
You never know he may just realize you are right and do nothing ((())) Stay strong!

denny57

When I reached this stage, I no longer spoke with AH; everything was handled through attorneys; I think I also sent 2 brief emails with instructions from our accountant.

It is a choice to communicate with him. My thinking was, he has a girlfriend, I'm done with it.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

NYC_Chick

I'll say a prayer for you tomorrow. My mom began to pack us up and move when my dad went into treatment (which didn't work) and was terrified of what my dad would do. He was mad and she thought he would beat her and us (one of his favorite drunken activities), when he figured it out, but she found out when she hit him back (figuratively, not literally) he let go and let her leave with us. She made sure all of her communication with him right after was through their attorneys.

I know you must be scared. I'm not in your situation, but I can say this is better. The rest of your life is a long time to be miserable, so stay strong and know your HP will watch out for you!

liesagain

making the tough choices and doing the difficult things....takes strength and determination YOUR showing both................try not to be afraid think of your self and keep moving forward one baby step at a time , before you know it you will have walked all the way out of the troubles and into your new and better life!!

nowinsituation

Rely on your higher power, it is always there for you! I remember all too well how scared I was of the confrontation with AH. You will find the strength. I tended to obsess about all the "what-ifs"; and while it is good to be prepared there is a point where you can go overboard. I was much calmer knowing that whatever happened, my HP would guide my actions if I just let him. You will get through it!! We are all here for you!

SerenitySeaker

Well he just called me. He says I stole everything and this why our marriage could never work because I'm sneaky and deceitful. He wanted to know where I was and who moved me. He got pretty upset when I wouldn't tell him. I was like why do you care? You don't love me anymore remember?

He said he was going to find me and come and steal our dog, claims she isn't mine to have taken.

I immediately left work in case he decided to show up.

parentrecovers

get a restraining order. that's my advice. i'm so sorry.

they sure do love drama, don't they?

hugs, k

SerenitySeaker

Everyone says I need to get a restraining order. I didn't want it to have to go this way but I guess I have no choice. I don't want to live with his crazy threats hanging over my head. I don't want to live in fear anymore, that's why I left! I will be calling my lawyer tomorrow.