Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Missouri
Posts: 56
Thanks for the responses and advice, stories, etc. My brother lived with us a few months last year and I finally had to kick him out. He was coming home in a drunken rages, and waking the whole house up. The final straw was when he threatened our 26 yr old son, who lives on his own. Our son called him on his bs and he threatened him. (he was drunk) Then he stopped in our house and woke us up, moving half of his belongings out. I told hubby, that's it..he's not coming back. The next day, my brother was hurt because we wouldn't let him move back in. I'd had enough. He got in trouble with the police last week and we didn't come to his rescue. He's mad at us now, but still talking to us.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
It doesn't surprise me that he's still talking to you -- you're his lifeline, potential bank, support system.
I will never forget the freedom I felt when I finally told my A sister (who also had a sad and scared little girl inside of her) that I'd no longer talk to her when she was drunk, and if she called my home drunk and disturbed me or my family, I was going to block her calls. I hadn't realized how much I was asking of my family --- the family I'd built and worked hard to have --- by enabling my sister's alcoholism.
Good luck to you storm. Your brother needs to find help for himself, and when he does, he will also find a community who will embrace him (much as the people who've come here have also found a community of friends) You can't do this for him, sad as that is.
I will never forget the freedom I felt when I finally told my A sister (who also had a sad and scared little girl inside of her) that I'd no longer talk to her when she was drunk, and if she called my home drunk and disturbed me or my family, I was going to block her calls. I hadn't realized how much I was asking of my family --- the family I'd built and worked hard to have --- by enabling my sister's alcoholism.
Good luck to you storm. Your brother needs to find help for himself, and when he does, he will also find a community who will embrace him (much as the people who've come here have also found a community of friends) You can't do this for him, sad as that is.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
Hello and welcome - remember the 3 C's....
You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it
Like everyone has already told you HE has to become a believer that he is powerless over alcohol before he reaches out for sobriety. Once this happens then his life will take some positive direction...but until then.....stand strong. Don't give in to his sneaky ways he knows exactly where all your buttons are and he will find new ones when those fail him in getting what he wants from you. As you read and learn from here and other places ie: Alanon and AA.. you will have your eyes opened and thats when you will take a committed stand in your brothers situation. Sometimes the very best thing we can do for our A's is to do NOTHING at all. Let his consequences teach him and bring him into submission and sobriety. Take care sweetie.
Janitw
Click on any of our names to learn our histories.
You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it
Like everyone has already told you HE has to become a believer that he is powerless over alcohol before he reaches out for sobriety. Once this happens then his life will take some positive direction...but until then.....stand strong. Don't give in to his sneaky ways he knows exactly where all your buttons are and he will find new ones when those fail him in getting what he wants from you. As you read and learn from here and other places ie: Alanon and AA.. you will have your eyes opened and thats when you will take a committed stand in your brothers situation. Sometimes the very best thing we can do for our A's is to do NOTHING at all. Let his consequences teach him and bring him into submission and sobriety. Take care sweetie.
Janitw
Click on any of our names to learn our histories.
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