new to board but not to alcoholism
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 115
new to board but not to alcoholism
Hi everyone,
I've been reading these boards for awhile and decided to register and post. I've been married to my AH for almost 22 years. He is currently in relapse and we just had a confrontation about it tonight.
He went to court ordered rehab about 14 years ago, and we both had some counseling at that time and went to meetings. Currently, he is much more careful about hiding his drinking than he use to be; he is drinking now after work and before he comes home. But, as well as he thinks he is hiding it it always manges to rear it's ugly head. He is back to square one in denial claiming he is not an alcoholic, and said if I didn't like it I could just divorce him. <sigh>
I tried to find a meeting in my area, but couldn't find one online. I know years ago there used to be some close to where I live. I'm not sure I have the energy to go through all this. I do love him. But, I just don't want the drama that an active alcoholic brings into my life. Well, thanks for listening it feels good to talk about it.
serinityprayer
I've been reading these boards for awhile and decided to register and post. I've been married to my AH for almost 22 years. He is currently in relapse and we just had a confrontation about it tonight.
He went to court ordered rehab about 14 years ago, and we both had some counseling at that time and went to meetings. Currently, he is much more careful about hiding his drinking than he use to be; he is drinking now after work and before he comes home. But, as well as he thinks he is hiding it it always manges to rear it's ugly head. He is back to square one in denial claiming he is not an alcoholic, and said if I didn't like it I could just divorce him. <sigh>
I tried to find a meeting in my area, but couldn't find one online. I know years ago there used to be some close to where I live. I'm not sure I have the energy to go through all this. I do love him. But, I just don't want the drama that an active alcoholic brings into my life. Well, thanks for listening it feels good to talk about it.
serinityprayer
I'm growing
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Right where I need to be
Posts: 601
Welcome! THANKS FOR POSTING.
I know how scary it must be for especially since you have already gone through this with him.
If you can't make it to a meeting maybe just refresh yourself through reading some books.??
Keep posting here:-) This place is a great place to be.
I know how scary it must be for especially since you have already gone through this with him.
If you can't make it to a meeting maybe just refresh yourself through reading some books.??
Keep posting here:-) This place is a great place to be.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 115
Thanks for the welcome everyone.
Thanks, for the online info MzAddy, I will check it out.
I have a couple books on codependency, and the One Day at A Time book from Alanon. You're right it is helpful to read passages from them and keep my codependency in check. :codiepolice
Thanks, for the online info MzAddy, I will check it out.
I have a couple books on codependency, and the One Day at A Time book from Alanon. You're right it is helpful to read passages from them and keep my codependency in check. :codiepolice
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
SP
Welcome. You will find a lot of support here. Although I read Alanon material, I seldom attend meetings. It's a time thing for me. But I do get a lot out of the literature. I am also dealing with a relapsing alcoholic (my son). It is painful. I found that when he started relapsing I had to watch myself very carefully to prevent my own relapse into co-dependency. I would catch myself beginning to revolve around the irrational behavior, the illogical thought processes, the denial, and all of the other crappy things this disease brings with it. It takes a lot of concentration to stay focused on me and not get drawn into the nonsense. When I'm doing it well, he doesn't get to me. When I'm not doing it well.........that's when I hurt. "Whatever" has become my favorite attitude. He's going to do "whatever" he's going to do and there's not a darn thing I can do about it. When he lays one of his all too common threats on me, I think "whatever" to myself rather than react.
hugs to you
Welcome. You will find a lot of support here. Although I read Alanon material, I seldom attend meetings. It's a time thing for me. But I do get a lot out of the literature. I am also dealing with a relapsing alcoholic (my son). It is painful. I found that when he started relapsing I had to watch myself very carefully to prevent my own relapse into co-dependency. I would catch myself beginning to revolve around the irrational behavior, the illogical thought processes, the denial, and all of the other crappy things this disease brings with it. It takes a lot of concentration to stay focused on me and not get drawn into the nonsense. When I'm doing it well, he doesn't get to me. When I'm not doing it well.........that's when I hurt. "Whatever" has become my favorite attitude. He's going to do "whatever" he's going to do and there's not a darn thing I can do about it. When he lays one of his all too common threats on me, I think "whatever" to myself rather than react.
hugs to you
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