Miss Pink

Heard from my newcomer sponsee in a meeting this week:

"Now that I left the relationship with my addict boyfriend....

I'm only got one life to live...mine....how am I going to do that?"

I needed a pair of depends I laughed so hard.

We are so used to living the alcoholic/addicts lives for them.....how in the world do we manage with only ONE life to live?

Spiritual Seeker

That pretty much is codenpendency in a nutshell.
Many of us mother our mates and smother our children even when addiction is not in the mix. No adult wants to be mothered and smothered. I will cut that behavior out.
I am working on it.

Barbara52

It feels ever so much better now that I am only try to run my life and no one else's! Lord in Heaven, why didn't I do this long ago?

nowinsituation

I actually think my STBXAH wanted to be mothered. It took me a lot of years to get to this point -- that it's not that he doesn't know how to be independent; it's just that he does not want to.

LaTeeDa

I can so relate to that. I felt like I was raising three children, and I only had two!

L

peaceteach

Amazing. That is EXACTLY how I felt.

hadenoughnow

My one life is more than enough for me, I have enough on my plate without having to change an A's diapers too.

cagefree

I too felt a huge weight lifted when I realized I only had to worry about keeping my side clean. I am much happier today because of that - thanks for the reminder MP!

Cindi R

That's exactly what I told the ex when the divorce was imminent!
I was tired of being his mother...I had 2 children to take care of, I was sick and tired of trying to get a full grown man to act like an adult.

Miss Pink

The three M's of codependency:

Mothering
Martyrdom
Manipulation

Ugh!