mec

hello everyone,

well for those of you that know the history of my life... you know that I have been with an A for about 2 years... and Friday he went to court for DWI #6 and he got 18 months prison time and 2 years supervision after that... so now that he is gone... it is hard for me to move on... I am still with him... even with him being in prison... I am going to wait for him... Maybe I am just as crazy... but the love is strong... and I have HOPE... that he will stop this crazyness...

So... how do I go on with my life... and not dwell on the loneliness....

BohemiMamaof3

First, find some Al-anon meetings and go to them! Get involved with groups that share your hobbies & interests, like a book, gardening, or athletic club. Do some volenteer work for a charity. Fill your life with good things that interest you. What things do you like?

GiveLove

Make yourself a list of fifty things you love to do -- like to do -- make you feel good -- give you a feeling of pride. Pick one a day for the next 30 days (with a few left over) and do them with gusto.

(and no, they can't involve "him" --- this is YOUR life)

Start a journal. Write every morning how you feel, how you WISH you felt, what you might want to try to do differently just for today.

Find a good AlAnon meeting and talk to others in the same boat.

Post your thoughts here.

You can take your life back and still love him.

gns

My therapist says action first then feelings follow. She advises me to go out when I am feeling sad and lonely and you know what it works! Don't wait to feel better - act first, plan fun things even if yoy don't want to and your feelings will follow.

I would also strongly suggest yoga/dance/long walks or the gym. I really believe in a mind body connection and there is something so centering about doing something physical.

These things really have helped me alot.

mec

Thank you everyone... I know I have to put me first... and I am working on that... he is going to be gone for a year and a half... and I am going to need to fill my time while he is gone... so like you all have said go and do things... and I am making a list of things that I want to do...

Just wanted to thank you all again,

hope2bhappy

Force yourself to go through the motions, and soon you will feel the corresponding emotions (just like gns said, above).

Janitw

((((((((((((Mec))))))))))))))

Ahhhh....I remember dui #6.... mine never saw a jail cell for anything longer than 6 months but......my first wish for you would be to find someone new and quick but I know thats not where your heart is.....so hunny just take it a day at a time and see where it leads you. You don't have to do or say anything at all....just live and breathe....all the other things will follow. And then before you know it he will be home. But then you will be walking on egg shells again - wondering when the next one will happen. You know it and I know it. Lets hope he embraces sobriety while he is in there. Thats where the hope lies. But in the meantime you are safe in the knowledge that he is off the street and if you own a home together he isn't out there driving with the property deed on the hood of his vehicle for the first law suit to happen along...so see there is a bright side to it??? Kind of... take care of YOU.