Grieving end of new relationship
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 405
Grieving end of new relationship
I spoke to my sister who thought I was just having trouble accepting that this relationship is over and trying to make it becuse of my issues (something I have control over).
I don't know what happened. We started dating around thanksgiving. He was lovely, my friends liked him and thought he was a good guy (made me feel safe). He is in the air force so was gone for one week overseas (bought me a bracelet) and then gone for my party. I didn't like when he was gone. When he was here we spent a lot of time together.
Last week he would text me in the morning, I would respond and he didn't respond back. He then told me he wouldn't be there for my party over email. I thought he was pulling back and called him. His response was that he had a conversation with himself that he didn't want to come on too fast. We saw each other the next 2 days, then he was flying for 2 days (sat sunday). He didn't call or text when he got back.
I called and text messaged (asked how his trip was and if he was back) tuesday - he did not respond (I knew he was home - the drive-by).
The next morning (wed) he texts me to say that "trip was fine nothing exciting. I have been very busy and distracted with a big family issue that has come to a head
. Hope you are doing well.
I have not heard from him since (2 days).
Of note, he said multiple times how he thinks this is special, how he wants to do things in the springtime together etc.
Can those of you with more objectivity and insight help me see this more clearly??
I don't know what happened. We started dating around thanksgiving. He was lovely, my friends liked him and thought he was a good guy (made me feel safe). He is in the air force so was gone for one week overseas (bought me a bracelet) and then gone for my party. I didn't like when he was gone. When he was here we spent a lot of time together.
Last week he would text me in the morning, I would respond and he didn't respond back. He then told me he wouldn't be there for my party over email. I thought he was pulling back and called him. His response was that he had a conversation with himself that he didn't want to come on too fast. We saw each other the next 2 days, then he was flying for 2 days (sat sunday). He didn't call or text when he got back.
I called and text messaged (asked how his trip was and if he was back) tuesday - he did not respond (I knew he was home - the drive-by).
The next morning (wed) he texts me to say that "trip was fine nothing exciting. I have been very busy and distracted with a big family issue that has come to a head
. Hope you are doing well.I have not heard from him since (2 days).
Of note, he said multiple times how he thinks this is special, how he wants to do things in the springtime together etc.
Can those of you with more objectivity and insight help me see this more clearly??
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 405
anvilhead, I am not sure what you mean - that I should just focus on what he said?
Isn't that the classic blow-off line? I am busy w/ work/family issues? I don't want to hold on unnecessarily.
Isn't that the classic blow-off line? I am busy w/ work/family issues? I don't want to hold on unnecessarily.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
then he is asking you for something and you have to respect that I have learned this lesson hard over the years, yes even losing my true love because of MY needing and MY wanting....it is hard but if YOU really have strong and sinceare feelings for HIM you will do as he asked.....just an old lady stuck on a perment date!
Pamm
Pamm
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The old me would have done the drive by......by the continual text messages...
The new me that takes care of herself now-Would say ok I hope whatever is going on with your family works out and give me a call when you can! No drive by, no nothing just pure trust that whatever happens happens.
Having myself get wrapped up in chaos of why someone does not like me or does not want to be with me is purely my own doing and something from within myself that i need to look at. I cannot worry about who likes me, does not, why they do not call, why this or that. Today I worry about ME! And trust in myself. If I have to worry so much about someone else today and what they think or do then clearly I need more work on myself. I have pushed my share of great guys away-by not respecting what they have asked!
It is possible that he has exactly what he stated...trust in yourself and trust in that-driving by and constantly texting will lead to a rode of pushing and IMHO I would not want to go there!
Anvil always pulls words out of my mouth shorter and sweeter! 
GNS-Focus on yourself and not him! Let him be read the post Anvil made again it is full of good advice
The new me that takes care of herself now-Would say ok I hope whatever is going on with your family works out and give me a call when you can! No drive by, no nothing just pure trust that whatever happens happens.
Having myself get wrapped up in chaos of why someone does not like me or does not want to be with me is purely my own doing and something from within myself that i need to look at. I cannot worry about who likes me, does not, why they do not call, why this or that. Today I worry about ME! And trust in myself. If I have to worry so much about someone else today and what they think or do then clearly I need more work on myself. I have pushed my share of great guys away-by not respecting what they have asked!
It is possible that he has exactly what he stated...trust in yourself and trust in that-driving by and constantly texting will lead to a rode of pushing and IMHO I would not want to go there!
what did he TELL you?
1) he wants to slow down
2) he's been busy with family issues
1) he wants to slow down
2) he's been busy with family issues
GNS-Focus on yourself and not him! Let him be read the post Anvil made again it is full of good advice
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
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Originally Posted by Rella927 
pure trust that whatever happens happens.
As I said in another one of your threads, it's about trusting yourself. You accept what life gives you and trust yourself to respond appropriately. It really makes life so much more enjoyable.
L
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NJ
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If it were me, I would say he was messing with my head. Who knows why. I wouldn't drive by his house or call or even text/e-mail him. Then see what happens, if you never hear from him, it's over and if you do then maybe he was being honest.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: by the sea
Posts: 183
gns I have to agree here - if he needs space for whatever then he needs space - he did not say he did not want too see you, just that things are happening in his life.
You are trying to speculate, driving yourself crazy, when you do not have all the facts..
be gentle with yourself and him
give it time
shakarris
You are trying to speculate, driving yourself crazy, when you do not have all the facts..
be gentle with yourself and him
give it time
shakarris
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Sunshine State
Posts: 410
I don't much about dating stuff, not my season in life... But as I was reading this thread I was reminded of the book "He's Just Not That Into You" and wondered if anybody read it and what they thought about it. I don't know if it even applys here...
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???
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Dixie
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Originally Posted by gns
anvilhead, I am not sure what you mean - that I should just focus on what he said?
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