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Breast cancer-how crazy does it get

Old 01-21-2008, 08:41 AM
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Breast cancer-how crazy does it get

My wife and I seperated at the end of sept. there have been many money problems. 3 yrs ago she was dianosed with breast cancer, every thing went as well as could be expected, no masectomy, just scars. But our relationship went steadaly down hill. She got involved with a MLM thing that ate up thousands of dollars. My step daughter had a baby girl. Our love life went down the tubes, 3 monthes before seperation I was told to satisfy myself, so I started checkiin out some smut on line, inspiration!!!. Well that drove her over the top, we had a domestic, no violence, which I was proud of givin my past.But I still ended up in jail over night. when I came home next AM she was gone. she has 12 Years straight I have 22 years straight. She has gotten into holistic medicine, and is very picky about her food. I'm thinkin anorexia might be the next thing. Does breast cancer effect people this much.
this last 3 months I have been very angry about all this stuff, I really wanted this marriage to work out.
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Old 01-21-2008, 10:59 AM
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hi geees,
thanks for your honesty. all stories help me recover.

maybe first things first, which might be your serenity. so much emotional chaos and reaction....you're losing that steady conscious contact with your HP. however you find that, i'd say triple your efforts.

i don't know anything about how life-threatening illness affects people. but since your wife is an addict, it is possible she could become compulsive as she attempts to save her life. an old friend of mine did this. it's difficult to be around, because one feels the presence of the addict.

they say that anger is a reaction to powerlessness, geees. a common emotion in addictive families. i hope you can make finding some peace and surrender a priority. it takes action and steadfast practice.

sending all good thoughts to you for a better day today.
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Old 01-21-2008, 04:18 PM
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BLUEJAY that really helps, I intend to keep working on my
program, and my HP (GOD) gets me thru a lot. I just thought
that maybe someone had some insight as to the cancer thing.
I had melonoma about 15 yrs. ago, and don't remember getting
crazy, just making my peace with my HP.
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Old 01-21-2008, 08:55 PM
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gees,
Have you ever heard of H.A.L.T. before? It's Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired and these are critical conditions that DO relate to recovery. Being sick with the flu or a mild case of the sniffles would qualify me for HALT....much less being diagnosed with what can be one of the most deadly diseases a woman can have.

I just lost a very dear friend to breast cancer....so my answer is YES- it certainly would affect anyone's stability.
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Old 01-22-2008, 02:21 AM
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gees, sorry you are going through this....

A health scare like cancer can cause people to change dramatically...sometimes they want to do things they never got to do, sometimes they change their entire surroundings, including people.

Try to be kind to yourself. Glad you have a good thing going on with your HP.
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Old 01-22-2008, 07:29 AM
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As many people I have known that had cancer, just as many ways of dealing with it have been seen. Panic, fear, scared stiff and then there are the emotions that those who have the cancer experience.

Some are accepting on the outside and some want to curl up in a ball and just have it go away.
A certain amount of fright tends to settle over all that I have seen. For some it is but a moment that leaves with a prayer and trust of God. Some don't handle it well at all and then those who fall in the middle of the two.
I have seen support people run and I have seen support people go extra time codie as well. I have seen those with the cancer stay in denial and others do major life changes in all areas.

I find it comes down to... we offer support as able and people will accept it as they wish. Same with anything else... you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. When a person becomes accepting is when a person will seek "their" answers.
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Old 01-22-2008, 07:44 AM
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GeeesP so sorry that you are going through this right now

Best-I find it comes down to... we offer support as able and people will accept it as they wish. Same with anything else... you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. When a person becomes accepting is when a person will seek "their" answers.
My aunt had breast cancer and a close friend of mine. They both took it differently-As Best stated about the "accepting" it is holds so true with anything even if it is not a horrible disease-

In this case my Aunt was one who did not accept if for a long time-until everything was done. She was left with scars no masectomy... Now my girlfriend on the other hand-is so involved with everything and anything that has to do with support of breast cancer-she had both removed-and continues on to be a bubbly person :bounce projecting it onto others-She is truly amazing!

I have found that I learn to accept-a lot more things in my life today than I ever have before and as Best stated when we can do that it is when we truly find the "answers" Everyone is different on how we handle things in life and this is ok!

Geees
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