Puli50

Listen to your inner voice, you and you alone know what is the right thing to do. Stay strong. We all have a tendency to ignore the little voice inside that says danger, run. We ignore our inner voice at our peril.

TRAD

I met my soul mate in 5th grade. A year later, I lost my soul mate when I went to a different school.

We found each other again in 2011 and had the best relationship ever. Truly. At that time he had been sober for about 11-12 years.

A year ago, he was diagnosed with oral cancer (tongue-based caused by alcohol and tobacco). The chemo and radiation was so bad, I thought he was going to die but we got him through it. During his recovery, late Spring, he began to act 'loopy' - much like he did when he was dehydrated from lack of nutrition and hydration during cancer treatment.

On Friday, July 26th, I found his vodka stash. By Sunday, the 28th, he was smashed in front of me for the first time. Guess it was ok now that the cat was out of the bag and I knew he was drinking...? Went to an Al-Anon meeting that night. I had never known alcoholism or seen it before this.

On Monday, July 29th, I told him he had to leave to work this sh*t out. I told him to just take the few things he needed for however long it would it take. He had told me 2 days prior that he needed 2 days to detox with a health care provider present. I'm so ignorant to the disease, I thought it would take him 2 days. My daughter had suffered during the school year because of the cancer. I couldn't have her suffer again in the last year of middle school for something like alcoholism plus the fact that I refused to have her exposed to it. I told him he had 1 month to get clean/sober or move out.

I came home the next day to an empty house. He taken everything he owned. Later, he admitted it was because he was ashamed.

My problem is that I keep getting pulled into the text/email communications, too. I had been trying to remain loving and supportive and not give him a reason to drink. well, I think I just figured out that he's drinking without me giving him a reason so WTH. I responded yesterday with no more text/email games. Please go get well. xoxo

There's the story of the love of my life and the best relationship ever destroyed in a year.

Thanks for letting me share.

Traci

ZenMe

Traci,

Thanks for sharing. You may have noticed this post is somewhat old. Take a look at the time stamps. Just in case you notice people in the thread aren't responding.

Searching the forums for "no contact" could prove helpful. Welcome and keep reading posts. =)

TRAD

Thanks, Zen. I found the page on a Google search and just posted without even thinking about the date.... sigh.

Doubleji

Wow. I'm brand new here & yes I fully empathize! We agreed to split as his disappearing acts & blackout benders weren't fair to me..yet he's still contacting me. I want u in my life, but I'm too screwed up right now, etc. Of course, no talk of a recovery plan beyond, 'toning down the benders'. Pics of puppies, job leads...more lies & manipulation! I envy ur strength to ignore contact. I'm still 'playing nice'. Enabling habits die hard. Stay strong & untangled from his sticky web. Xo

honeypig

As mentioned above, this thread is about 5 years old. If you're looking for discussion or replies, you'll likely get a lot more of that by starting a new thread. Posting to such an old thread tends to not generate a lot of traffic.

On the other hand, reading thru as much of the existing material here as you can, whether it's newer OR older, is a GREAT way to educate yourself.

Welcome to SR!

Doubleji

Thanks. I wasn't looking for discussion.