BohemiMamaof3

Well, I began coming here in ‘05 or ‘06 regarding my alcohol & drug addict brother. This place was so helpful. I have good news. My brother has been sober for 14 months in a program with the Salvation Army. I thank God for that! I think this has probably been the longest he’s been sober since he was like 18! He’s about 36 now. I am so proud of him! There is one thing that puts some rain on this parade and that is that he is still a real grouch and kind of a jerk. I would like to know from others whose loved ones have been in recovery for awhile, is this something they have experienced? I have observed others who are in recovery and they seem to have a hopefulness, a passion for life or something, but my brother is, simply put, a dud. Trying to have a conversation with him is like talking to a wall, he doesn’t even try. He has been diagnosed with bi-polar, but I’m suspecting that he is either on the wrong medication or is mis-diagnosed & doesn’t need medication at all. My DH thinks that maybe he over medicates himself and has traded one kind of drink/drug for another. Again, other people I’ve know that are on medicine for bi-polar seem functional, happy and lead reasonably normal lives. I don’t want to downplay how thankful I am that he is sober and in a program! I suppose I thought by now, some of the ‘old brother’ like his funny and charming side would re-appear. I used to try to re-establish a close relationship with him, but now I limit time around him because he acts this way. I guess I still harbor this fantasy that we’ll be a close & happy family like we were when we were young. I’d love to hear what you all think, and if anyone else has a similar experience.

Barbara52

I have no personal knowledge of what someone is like in reocvery but I do have experience with someone who is bipolar. My 18 yr old son is bipolar. Its has taken quite a while to get the right mix and dosage of medications to get him where he wants to be. He eventually had to see a specialist in pyschopharmalogy but now he is doing very well. His emotions were flat prior to fiding the right mix.

BohemiMamaof3

Maybe that's it then and he needs it after all, but he needs it adjusted. My mom and I encourage him to speak to his doctors, but he has to do it himself.

Barbara52

Yup, he has to do it himself.

Rella927

My brother has not been in recovery or rather sober but for close to 2 months now (again)....but he is bi-polar and I know also like Barb's son it took a bit to get him on the right meds last time when he stopped drinking-and his moods too changed like the wind.

He is now in a great program-which is in a Christian based half way house and he is never been better so far!

And YES he has to do it himself-it took awhile to get my brother to actually do it himself or rather "want" to do it himself-my mother was the one we all needed to stop enabling him so much and she did-which led him to finally do things for himself.

We can detach from them and still love them-as hard as it is-it is worth it in the end

Good Luck-

BohemiMamaof3

I think then, the next time I talk to him I will just mention it. First, I'll stress how proud I am of him for his 14+ months of sobriety. Then I'll say something like he might want to speak to his Dr. about adjusting or switching meds because he slurrs his speach sometimes, is sometimes lethargic, antisocial & grumpy. But other than that, nothing else I can do.