cagefree

I know in my head it was the right thing to do - but I feel like I just killed my best friend. Thankfully he is no longer suffering and had an incredible 13 years full of life, love and puppy fun.

He died in my arms, comfortable for the first time in a week. I kept thinking about all the times I prepared myself for the inevitable and how it was finally happening - I wanted it to be over, he was in so much pain...but I wanted one more minute, then one minute more...I can't get his face out of my head

Tonight I will be sleeping alone for the first time since he picked me to be his mom. I still keep thinking on doggy-pee schedule. Sometimes I wish I could be one of those people who stoicly deal, calmly with reserve - but that's not me. I'm a mess. I miss him so much. I can't believe he's gone.

Thanks for letting me share.

FormerDoormat

I'm SO sorry for your loss.

ICU

(((Cagefree))),

I feel for you more than you could know. My 12 yr. old dog is in very critical condition in oxygen as we speak. I'm crying right along with you, for your loss, and my pending loss.

The tears we cry are a testimony to a love that is very real, and very deep. It hurts like he**. It's ok to be a mess! I'm a mess right now too. Maybe we can be a mess together!

I wish I had more words of comfort to share with you. Just know, I'll be thinking about you and wishing that your heart begins to heal, and the memories begin to comfort you.

I am so, so sorry!

cagefree

Thanks FD

ICU - yes, we can be a mess together. I'm so sorry both you and puppy are suffering. Major hugs to you (((())))

Here's something that a friend of mine sent to me today when she found out...


Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

ICU, When it's time for your pet to cross over, mine will be waiting to greet him with open paws...

ICU

The Rainbow Bridge always makes me cry...it's beautiful, and it helps, but still, I cry!

My heart, and my little guy thank you for that. I'm sure they'll become the best of friends!

And here's something that I've held onto since I first read it. It's from Petwarmers....I hope it helps, even if it's just a little bit...

SOFT WHISPER
by Lanie Blackmon

My best friend spoke to me last night
a soft whisper in my ear.
I woke up and looked around the room,
I was startled, yet I had no fear.

My best friend said that all is fine
Rainbow Bridge is so much more.
That there was so much love up there,
even a beautiful ocean shore.

There are fields and fields of green green grass
and the sky has different shades of blue.
There are flowers, mountains, trees and clouds,
everything they said it was, is true.

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
saying "Please don't cry or be sad.
That what was done, had to be done,
for me to live my life now, so be glad."

My best friend said that I did the right thing
an unselfish act on my part.
And that the pain and sadness I feel
will be gone soon from my heart.

I asked my best friend, "How could this be
I miss you so much everyday.
That my heart hurts so much for you,
I wish there could of been another way."

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
"You will always be in my heart.
Go on and live and love another,
because we will never really be apart."

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
"It's time for me to go towards the light.
I just wanted to stop and say to you
Go on my best friend, I'll be alright."

"I carry your unconditional love with me
I have done this from the very start."
I whispered back to my best friend last night,
"I'll always love you with all my heart."

"So goodbye my best friend," as I looked up at the sky
A shooting star I see in a straight line
Moving fast across the sky and out of sight,
I whispered, "Goodbye my best friend. Now, I'll be fine."

You can pm me any time you need an ear. You know I'll understand! Be gentle with yourself, ok? (((((()))))) I know! It's so hard!!

beaglebaby

So sorry to hear of your loss Cagefree.

We lost a dog earlier this year -- after 14 YEARS -- and I was totally unprepared for the heartbreak.

You should find comfort that your baby is no longer suffering, and warmth in the memories.

Take care.

ANGELINA243

Whew! I haven't heard that in awhile (Rainbow Bridge)--it makes me cry each time. Cagefree--sorry to hear about your loss. I work at a vet hospital--and it isn't easy for us either. I had to make a decision about my kitty a few years ago>and I was a total mess--they had to send me home. She was 18 years old and was also my best friend. I felt helpless because I couldn't help her. That was really tough. I still cry when I think about that day or think about her and how much I miss her so--even today. You are not alone.

grateful2b

I'm so sorry, Cagefree......As I mentioned in my post to Indigo, I have lost many furry family members over the years. My female greyhound was 12 when it came to the point that I had to face the responsiblity of ending her suffering. I kept wishing I would wake up and find that she died peacefully in her sleep. It was not to be. It is heart-wrenching to have to make that decision, but you know I realize now, that they know and understand. I miss her still and that was gosh, 36 years ago. I have two female cats, and we are very close, especially my younger one caillie, we have a very deep soul connection. it is going to be really really tough for me when she is gone. What kind of dog was he?

Barbara52

**{hugs}} Cagefree, I am so sorry for your loss. It does hurt so bad when we lose one of our furbabies.

MsGolightly

cage, i'm so sorry. it's one of the hardest things to do. i put my dog down last march and held him as he took his last breath, and i still tear up just thinking about it. it does help knowing that they aren't in pain anymore and it's the best thing to do for them. it's not easy, but you did the right thing.

be good to yourself honey. i'm sure you were the best, most loving mom he could have ever had. you'll always be his mom and he'll always be your baby.

ANGELINA243

Thank you ICU for the beautiful poem. I told myself I wasn't going to cry reading this until I saw this part and it was all over then. I hope your puppy starts feeling better. Oxygen cages are useful for temporary treatment--does your puppy have a collapsing trachea, or lung problem. I had another cat that delevoped fluid in the chest cavity that was causing trouble breathing. He also had an immune disorder. I know its tough to see them go through something like that and not really being able to do anything but pray. My thoughts/prayers are with you. :praying God bless!

cagefree

Thanks everyone so much for your kind words - it really makes me feel better hearing all of your stories!

ICU - the Soft Whisper poem is beautiful! I know I will "see" him around me for awhile.

denny57

(((cage))) I'm always a mess, too, when I lose a pet.

Take care.

Sorta Kinda

I'm sorry to hear it :/

My Rott had to be put down last year. Best dog I ever had.

ARealLady

(((((Cagefree))))))))

Give yourself time to mourn your fur kid's passing. Our pets often become such a central part of our world that when it's time for them to cross Rainbow Bridge, our world needs to readjust to their absence.

I lost a dog tragically two and a half years ago and I can still smell him. I keep a framed photo of him in my kitchen and talk to him daily....it helped me at the beginning to cope with the loss.

ARL

shakarris

I am so sorry for your loss **** be gentle with yourself}}

shakarris

WLDKATZ

I know exactly what you mean, he's running around in puppy heaven, I know we can see em once we are off of our job here ( you have me bawling and my nurse asking if I need a pill) I miss my Doobie so much she was my best friend ever, I ws lucky they creamated her for me so she is always with me, dont know how to handle it if anything happened to my baby....I will keep you in my prayers........

FormerDoormat

Sorry about your baby, too, ICU. I've lost many pets over the years. It never gets any easier. Hugs to you both. Here's a prayer that I've found comforting when I've lost a friend:

A Dog's Prayer

Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footsteps falls upon my waiting ear.

When it is cold and wet, please take me inside, for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements. And I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth. Though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land, for you are my god and I am your devoted worshiper.

Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life should your life be in danger.

And, beloved master, should the great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest - and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.

CBrown

I am so so sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))

Pick-a-name

I'm sorry to hear about your dog. I have had to make that choice,too. Sounds to me like your dog must have had a wonderful life with you;better than many people have had. (Hope that gives you some comfort to remember.)

((cagefree))