What are steps?

Old 01-10-2008, 09:51 PM
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What are steps?

Where can I find the steps that you all are talking about? My dh just entered a treatment center several states away, should I be doing something while he is away?
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Old 01-10-2008, 10:24 PM
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Welcome to SR!

The 12 Steps are in the Al anon program.
Al anon is for those who love alcoholics.
It's a way of living to help you.

I found the meetings immensley helpful
and encourage you to attend.

Good to see your husband is gettting help.
Let us know how you are doing
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Old 01-11-2008, 05:31 AM
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I second the idea of attending some meetings. While 12-step work isn't for everyone, it could be a start to understanding there are things you can do to help yourself and support the addict through recovery.

Good luck, and keep posting!
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Old 01-11-2008, 05:41 AM
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If you go to a Face to Face Al Anon meeting, or if your loved one has gone into treatment... you will hear people talk about working a program of recovery. Just like the alcoholics who attend AA or the addicts who attend NA, members of Al Anon have their own program. In Al Anon, you learn about the 12 steps (taken from Alcoholics Anonymous), the slogans, the serenity prayer, getting a sponsor. All of these things are highly recommended if you want to find the recovery and serenity that other members of Al Anon have found. The fundamental issue is that WE work our OWN program, and the Addict or Alcoholic works theirs.

The 12 steps:

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.

Step 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the care of God as we understood Him

Step 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves

Step 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs

Step 6. Were entirely to have God remove all of these defects of character

Step 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings

Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all

Step 9. Made direct amends to such people where ever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others

Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it

Step 11. Sought thru prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out

Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
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Old 01-11-2008, 05:46 AM
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Well they were out back and she fell down them a couple times while she had one too many….
Oh, not those sorry. How about these…..


Twelve Steps
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
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Old 01-11-2008, 05:52 AM
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(( Mr. C ))

Our posts came at the same time! Great minds think alike, I guess... :rof
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Old 01-11-2008, 05:54 AM
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( been out of my mind for a few days, but thanks )
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Old 01-11-2008, 08:09 PM
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Thanks guys, my DH called tonight with the therapist and we had a family session over the phone. The therapist mentioned that I needed to look into Al-anon too. I was able to say that I had already started to look into it-so thanks guys!!!

What will I do when I go to the meeting? I am nervous and would like to know what to expect. How long does it take to go throught the steps and what if you think you already do some of them-but not in order????
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Old 01-11-2008, 11:12 PM
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The steps are a way to tap into a spiritual answer. I finally took that route, and it paid off in spades. It is a hard pill to swallow, and some people find easier ways to deal with alcoholism, but if you have reached the end of your rope, I highly recommend this before you give up. Seek someone who has done the steps in alanon. You will find their help invaluable.
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