I'm about to pull the plug on financing rehab

Old 01-11-2008, 03:20 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
get it, give it, grow in it
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Anvilhead- thanks for the honest opinion.
Yep that is just how I started feeling as I had my checkbook out. That I was being used/played. Silly me, I tried reasoning but OH YEA there is no reasoning with the addict mind.
It is not easy to kick someone sick to the curb. It is easier to kick them to rehab.
He appears to need more conseq. before he yells "UNCLE"
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Old 01-12-2008, 06:21 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Probably a goods idea to pull it.

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Old 01-13-2008, 07:34 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Better late than never!
I've been gone this weekend.
My Step-sister!
Seems like you got a lot of good advice.
I think its harder for you this time because you saw glimpses of him on a better road.
I agree that its a lot of $ to spend. I told you of the time I pondered paying for my sons rehab. I decided not to and he went to a state funded one. He also went there to escape his problems but at the time I thought what ever gets him motivated to go, I'll take.
when he left rehab a month later I was glad that the $ was one less thing to be angry and disappointed about.
I also fight finding that line of helping or hurting. I know people who have been forced into rehab and have ended up embracing the program and I know people who took themselves to rehab and chose to leave. But the odds are for those who chose it on their own.
So when do we nudge and when do we keep our hands off?
Sometimes I think maybe his HP is nudging him through me? Maybe I am a flaming Codie and will look for any excuse to let me do what my co-Dependant brain wants to do?
Sigh...
Right there with you sister.
But... encouragement aside. Save your dollars and if he still wants to go, direct him toward a cheap one and see if he commits(?) my two cents.
Call me if you need
Cathy
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Old 01-14-2008, 02:21 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Ann
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I agree with those above who say that if he were serious about recovery, he'd already be doing something positive.

The Salvation Army program is free and is a wonderful program. Any program is about as good as the addict's willingness to get clean.

I'd save my money, that sounds like a real financial burden to risk on someone who is showing no signs of willingness or surrender.

Prayers going out for you and your son.

Hugs
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Old 01-14-2008, 10:41 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
get it, give it, grow in it
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Thanks Ann, you are spot on as usual.
The whole situation had turned quickly. Early last week he printed, filled out, sent and did follow up call on the application to the rehab. By the week's end when it was time to pick a date he bulked and said if moving out was the conseq. for not going he'd move out and be homeless. Addiction really is BAFFLING. Lessons noted (1) There is NO reasoning with an addict. (2) He needs more wreckage to make rehab an option
(3) I tried and failed once again (4) It is time for me to Stop (5) Time to turn it over, Let go and reestablish what boundaries and conseq. will be and when.
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Old 01-14-2008, 10:46 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I'm sorry your son is making these choices Spiritual Seeker. I know you are in pain. {hugs}
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Old 01-14-2008, 10:55 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
get it, give it, grow in it
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You are right Barbara, I am trying to intellectualize this to protect myself.
But it hurts like hell to watch my son, who was making progress, but now his disease is what is progressing. It hurts like H*** to kick him out, with predictable places this addiction will take him. But I must do it to stop my own progression into H***.
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Old 01-14-2008, 11:57 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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WOW AND WOW AGAIN! That's some serious money! Is there any information out there on the effectiveness of free or low-cost rehab as opposed to expensive rehab? Man, for that kind of money, I'd wonder if there's a guarantee! Just kidding, but I'm shell-shocked by the pricetag.

No matter what you decide ... hugs and prayers.
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