Half-empty hidden bottles...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
mine didn't hide alcohol but he lied about how much he drank. which meant lying about how much he spent on drink, lying about when he was at work, lying about where he was, lying about bills he hadn't paid...it was like an avalanche of lies.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 23
i have found empty beer bottles in the cooker, under the bed in the travel bags we kept there, behind the sofa, even in cardboard boxes in the cellar..when confronted he ALWAYS insisted they were from "months ago"..a couple of times i actually went in search of bottles and it was like an easter egg hunt..it would have been fun if it hadn't been about bottles
fumbling towards normalcy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 35
Ah, the bottle finding game...always fun!
My AH is a big one for filling up water bottles with vodka, but before he did that, we had vodka bottles everywhere...flask between the mattress and the bedsprings, flasks in the pockets of his dress shirts in the closet, behind the TV in the living room, under the couch, in the bathroom cabinets between the towels, etc.
The best (if you can have a sense of humor about it) was when I cleaned out our condo building's community laundry room. I found at least 5 flasks hidden in the utility closet--and BONUS!--a full-size gallon glass bottle of Smirnoff stashed in a HOLE IN THE WALL behind the garden hose. Now that's creativity.
That's why AH moved to water bottles...he sucks at hiding the flasks anymore...I was on to him.
My AH is a big one for filling up water bottles with vodka, but before he did that, we had vodka bottles everywhere...flask between the mattress and the bedsprings, flasks in the pockets of his dress shirts in the closet, behind the TV in the living room, under the couch, in the bathroom cabinets between the towels, etc.
The best (if you can have a sense of humor about it) was when I cleaned out our condo building's community laundry room. I found at least 5 flasks hidden in the utility closet--and BONUS!--a full-size gallon glass bottle of Smirnoff stashed in a HOLE IN THE WALL behind the garden hose. Now that's creativity.
That's why AH moved to water bottles...he sucks at hiding the flasks anymore...I was on to him.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Morris Plains
Posts: 1
Originally Posted by darkness_falls 
This happens all the time at my house. The ones I find are always "from before" or "old." Even when all the empties have been returned and there is no booze around, there they are. In the dining hutch, behind the curtains, in the cupboard that's hardly ever opened, the garage, the basement steps, you name it. It's always the same story from him. It's to the point where I just dodn't care to hear the excuse anymore.
We had a party at our house for New Year's Eve and nobody drank the sambuca yet the other day the bottle was almost empty. This would not have been his first choice. For him it would've been beer. He blamed it on my cousin. She drank it that night. Yeah right. This after he told me he didn't have cravings anymore.
I've only been here at this forum 2 days and already I see the same patterns repeating. For so long I thought I was going insane. That I was one of only a few people on this earth going through this crap. In my opinion, if people are hiding the fact that they're drinking, there's a problem. I'd rather see it out in the open. I feel for what you're going through and the confrontation you may face. Take care.
We had a party at our house for New Year's Eve and nobody drank the sambuca yet the other day the bottle was almost empty. This would not have been his first choice. For him it would've been beer. He blamed it on my cousin. She drank it that night. Yeah right. This after he told me he didn't have cravings anymore.
I've only been here at this forum 2 days and already I see the same patterns repeating. For so long I thought I was going insane. That I was one of only a few people on this earth going through this crap. In my opinion, if people are hiding the fact that they're drinking, there's a problem. I'd rather see it out in the open. I feel for what you're going through and the confrontation you may face. Take care.
I wish us all strength and happiness!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
(or a friend tells me she saw my husband buying vodka at the liquor store when he told me was going to buy a cigar), I never know - do I confront him? Or do I wait until our therapy appt. on Monday and see what the dr. has to say? In the meantime, it's eating me up inside.
Confront him with what? He knows he's buying booze. You know he's buying booze! So you also know he is an alcoholic and that he is drinking the booze - so he is active in his addiction. These things are true, are they not?
I found for me that focusing on "should I confront" or what is the right way to confront, or what are the right words etc - was all a way of keeping the denial game going in my mind. Denial of reality.
What's the reality? He is an alcoholic and he drinks. That's what alcoholics do.
Confronting him won't change that. The only change I can make is within myself. It does not matter what I say to the alcoholic. If I have an expectation of a certain reaction on his part, that will make me nuts!
I can certainly say at therapy, "Well since AH is still actively drinking then I intend to do X Y Z." And then follow it up with the stated action on your part. But it is a dark and miserable road that we've all been on when we believe that somehow something we say will make a lick of difference to their serious problem!
I didn't cause it.
I can't control it.
I can't cure it.
But I can decide what I want to do with my one precious life!
Peace-
B
Confront him with what? He knows he's buying booze. You know he's buying booze! So you also know he is an alcoholic and that he is drinking the booze - so he is active in his addiction. These things are true, are they not?
I found for me that focusing on "should I confront" or what is the right way to confront, or what are the right words etc - was all a way of keeping the denial game going in my mind. Denial of reality.
What's the reality? He is an alcoholic and he drinks. That's what alcoholics do.
Confronting him won't change that. The only change I can make is within myself. It does not matter what I say to the alcoholic. If I have an expectation of a certain reaction on his part, that will make me nuts!
I can certainly say at therapy, "Well since AH is still actively drinking then I intend to do X Y Z." And then follow it up with the stated action on your part. But it is a dark and miserable road that we've all been on when we believe that somehow something we say will make a lick of difference to their serious problem!
I didn't cause it.
I can't control it.
I can't cure it.
But I can decide what I want to do with my one precious life!
Peace-
B
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: IL
Posts: 7
Alice---I was that guy--confront him in a gentle manner---slowly introduce him to the fact that he may have a problem--if you do it too fast, things may go haywire---I am not saying lay down and take the beatin whatsoever---if you love, help him---my wife basically did the same thing for me---I appreciate that more than anything thing---you are in the right to confront him but do it in a manner that promotes helping and not hurting----just my thoughts---you are the one with the RIGHT THINKING head on your shoulders right now---use it to your advantage and help him---like I said, my wife helped me----I hated it most of the time but she did what needed to be done in a manner that helped
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