Geeeeeeeeeeeez
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Guess you just discovered you're a mere mortal like the rest of us. Nobody's recovery is based on perfection - just progress. You invested your emotions and time into a relationship .... you have to grieve the loss regardless of the person or the ending.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Picture Cher in the movie, Moonstruck, when I say this:
SNAP OUT OF IT!
Perhaps she was carrying around a piece of cryptonite in her undies. She must have laid some really good stuff on you. Pun intended.
SNAP OUT OF IT!
Perhaps she was carrying around a piece of cryptonite in her undies. She must have laid some really good stuff on you. Pun intended.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: by the sea
Posts: 183
Sorry for your pain Mr C .. it does not matter the length of time you spend with somebody - it is a loss and you will feel bad.. but you know it will only last awhile.. and then
hugs to you
thinking of you
shakarris
hugs to you
thinking of you
shakarris
Keepingmyjoy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 328
So sorry to hear about what happened. I am just getting caught up with everybody. I know you will find the strength to get though this. It is hard when we crack open a bit and begin to trust and it comes back to bite. It hurts. Hang in there...try not to close up for good with the whole "trust" thing...that would be such a loss. You are a great person.
When Pigs Fly
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: california
Posts: 894
I think what sucks is that she palyed you, and you truly thought the "2nd" chance ment something, the Christmas time spent together, the gifts ect... you felt she wanted something and you thought you were going to start the New Year off with a new person , she let you in and pushed you out the window.... Just fly away superman, another lesson learned. Feel the Feelings it's okay you will be better for it.
Love ya, Kermmie
Love ya, Kermmie
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Relationships in recovery are never easy. I was in
a 25 yr marriage....plus yrs drinking and the rest
sober....so as i changed in recovery the rest
remained the same.....Here I am separated and
loving it....
As i am learning to feel single in my sober life
for the first time i am now learning about
relationships in recovery . That is healthier
relationships.
There r suggestions by those before me
that have been there done that and either
have succeeded. Im am willing to learn
from there suggestions to help me and guide
me into a possible future relationship.
Relationships are filled with emotions that
are attached with it.....
Knowing how to deal with them is a
learning process.
No one wants to get hurt, esp.me. and
when i get to close to someone i care
about i tend to back away in fear of
getting hurt either with rejection
or misunderstanding.
Me, id rather not get too close
because i dont like the feeling of
those emotions.
Today is about me. Selfish as it
may seem.....i have to take care
of me and my sobriety. My recovery.
My serenity and peace of mind is that
important to me today.
As ive been thru enuff emotions turmiol
in my life, i refuse to allow myself go
thru that crap again.....
Even tho a person enters my emotions
gets to close to toy with it i feel un-
comfortable....so i naturally back away.
However with with proper tools available
like books, councilors, meetings, i remain
teachable to learn how to have a healthier
relationship with less emotional pain involved.
With many sucessful relationships around us
we can learn from them to help us have a
sucessful one too.
Sobriety first relationships later.
a 25 yr marriage....plus yrs drinking and the rest
sober....so as i changed in recovery the rest
remained the same.....Here I am separated and
loving it....
As i am learning to feel single in my sober life
for the first time i am now learning about
relationships in recovery . That is healthier
relationships.
There r suggestions by those before me
that have been there done that and either
have succeeded. Im am willing to learn
from there suggestions to help me and guide
me into a possible future relationship.
Relationships are filled with emotions that
are attached with it.....
Knowing how to deal with them is a
learning process.
No one wants to get hurt, esp.me. and
when i get to close to someone i care
about i tend to back away in fear of
getting hurt either with rejection
or misunderstanding.
Me, id rather not get too close
because i dont like the feeling of
those emotions.
Today is about me. Selfish as it
may seem.....i have to take care
of me and my sobriety. My recovery.
My serenity and peace of mind is that
important to me today.
As ive been thru enuff emotions turmiol
in my life, i refuse to allow myself go
thru that crap again.....
Even tho a person enters my emotions
gets to close to toy with it i feel un-
comfortable....so i naturally back away.
However with with proper tools available
like books, councilors, meetings, i remain
teachable to learn how to have a healthier
relationship with less emotional pain involved.
With many sucessful relationships around us
we can learn from them to help us have a
sucessful one too.
Sobriety first relationships later.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Mr. C.
I will go back to what I said about a year ago. Give yourself a year of LIVING ALONE.
Get to know you! Get to know your own boundaries. Get to know that your own self esteem does not depend on whom is on your arm.
I had to do this for me. I screamed, ranted, raved, and cried that I could not do this.
I learned about me. I learned I didn't need a him on my arm. I learned about what was really important in a relationship and what wasn't. I LEARNED ABOUT ME. One year.
Also made my 'picker' better and my radar 'super sonic.'
J M H O
Love and hugs,
I will go back to what I said about a year ago. Give yourself a year of LIVING ALONE.
Get to know you! Get to know your own boundaries. Get to know that your own self esteem does not depend on whom is on your arm.
I had to do this for me. I screamed, ranted, raved, and cried that I could not do this.
I learned about me. I learned I didn't need a him on my arm. I learned about what was really important in a relationship and what wasn't. I LEARNED ABOUT ME. One year.
Also made my 'picker' better and my radar 'super sonic.'
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
Something interesting I've learned in the past few days....when things are going 'well', I feel that my recovery skills are strong, I am proud of my accomplishments and growth, and it is easy to share and encourage others to do the same.
It's when things aren't going well, when I am vulnerable, that I begin to see just how much more work I need to do, on myself.
Pain reminds me we are all vulnerable at some point in time and that the strongest of the strong can get knocked down in a split second! No living person is immune! When I think about it, there is some beauty in that...in a 'sucko way'!
I second Laurie's suggestion about taking time for one's self!
It's when things aren't going well, when I am vulnerable, that I begin to see just how much more work I need to do, on myself.
Pain reminds me we are all vulnerable at some point in time and that the strongest of the strong can get knocked down in a split second! No living person is immune! When I think about it, there is some beauty in that...in a 'sucko way'!
I second Laurie's suggestion about taking time for one's self!
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