I am back....I missed you guys!
Keepingmyjoy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 328
I am back....I missed you guys!
Hi everybody! I have tried to catch up on posts, I want to know how everybody is and how Christmas and New Years was for you all. I have missed being here so much. I see so many new names! Hello to all of you. I hope to catch up with all your posts to get to know you.
I am doing well. As some of you know, I am now separated from AH for about 2 months. Little guy is doing great. There was a bit of adjustment but he is doing great now. I am feeling like so many of you have said in your posts. Some good days, some bad. Mostly good! I laid low for awhile not posting since AH was reading here possibly and really did not feel like I wanted to post my feelings so that they could be used against me.
I feel like I am off the rollercoaster and that is a really good feeling. But there are some days I feel like I am standing in line for the rollercoaster...not on it, but close enough to be nervous!
I did want to tell you that I am so glad I have you all in my life and I really can see that I did some back sliding while gone. But for the most part, I am feeling that I did the right thing and that while all the crap gets sorted out, it is a little hard though. So, I need to catch up on posts and not be gone again for so long.
I have so much I could fill you in on, but really this post is to say thanks for your support and caring and that I have missed you all!
I am doing well. As some of you know, I am now separated from AH for about 2 months. Little guy is doing great. There was a bit of adjustment but he is doing great now. I am feeling like so many of you have said in your posts. Some good days, some bad. Mostly good! I laid low for awhile not posting since AH was reading here possibly and really did not feel like I wanted to post my feelings so that they could be used against me.
I feel like I am off the rollercoaster and that is a really good feeling. But there are some days I feel like I am standing in line for the rollercoaster...not on it, but close enough to be nervous!
I did want to tell you that I am so glad I have you all in my life and I really can see that I did some back sliding while gone. But for the most part, I am feeling that I did the right thing and that while all the crap gets sorted out, it is a little hard though. So, I need to catch up on posts and not be gone again for so long.
I have so much I could fill you in on, but really this post is to say thanks for your support and caring and that I have missed you all!
Recovering Codependant
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Good to have you back Keeping, xmas and New Years were cool for me. I'm so glad you and your little one are doing well.
Keep going from strength to strength!
Lily xxxxxxxx
Keep going from strength to strength!
Lily xxxxxxxx
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Sounds like you are moving in the right direction! This is wonderful news! Glad the little one is doing well!!!
Keep up the awesome work! It get's better-
Keep up the awesome work! It get's better-
Recovering Nicely
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
Keepingmyjoy - I have been wondering how you and little guy have been doing. I'm so happy to hear that everything is well. I'm still w/AH, court dates beyond belief, rollercoaster ride, etc., but you still are my inspiration and hopefully soon I'll be living the calm life like you. How was your holidays, your daughter and your friend's pregnant daughter? Hope everyone is well. Teree
Keepingmyjoy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 328
Hi back at you all. Teree, I need to read all about what is happening with you! I tried to catch up, but wow, so many posts and new people...phew, not sure I will catch up totally.
Life has been extremely busy. I went back to working full time at the office (used to work at home part time and office part time). That was another adjustment for little guy, so spent alot of time with him after work etc. He is getting used to it, but doesn't really like it of course.
My roommate had her baby on 1/3/08...a little girl...cutest little thing! I feel like a grandma would I think. My roommate is only 2 years older than my daughter! I have all the fun holding her and helping. It is wonderful. I am tired...but happy.
AH still trying to get me on that rollercoaster. Had a little trouble there when we were separating finances and stuff. Paid stuff I probably shouldn't have, but I am trying to regain my balance.
Just a funny note...(glad I can find it funny even though it hurts): While he is telling me he does not want a divorce blah blah blah, I go to move money from his account to pay a bill (with his permission of course) and see a charge on his account for Cupid.com! I could not help myself, I had to see if he added a profile. He is so predictable, I found it almost without trying. When he gave me a hard time about not wearing my wedding rings, I asked if he wanted to know why. He said yes, so I told him that I knew about the cupid.com listing he has and that while he says one thing, his actions say another. I originally took them off when he told me he was going out to a bar to hang out with a heroin addict he met at AA and she was going to help him figure out why he drinks and he was going to try to help her understand why she likes heroin!!!!!! hahahahahahhah....too funny. So, off came the rings. But the best part is he sees nothing wrong with any of this! There's so much more, but won't go into it all now.
Oh well, what I am trying to take from all this is that he is just so damaged in his thinking that he can no longer be morally clear in the way you treat people and that reinforces that I did the right thing in leaving. I see things so much clearer now that I out of the fog!
He has been sober since I left except once that I know of, and so little guy does get to see him and that makes little guy happy. Right now, that is what I care about most...his and my happiness and peacefulness.
Oh yeah, and I have also been reconnecting with friends that could not watch what was happening to me while with him. That has been a true blessing....
Can I say again, I am so happy to be back! I have missed you all.:ghug
Life has been extremely busy. I went back to working full time at the office (used to work at home part time and office part time). That was another adjustment for little guy, so spent alot of time with him after work etc. He is getting used to it, but doesn't really like it of course.
My roommate had her baby on 1/3/08...a little girl...cutest little thing! I feel like a grandma would I think. My roommate is only 2 years older than my daughter! I have all the fun holding her and helping. It is wonderful. I am tired...but happy.
AH still trying to get me on that rollercoaster. Had a little trouble there when we were separating finances and stuff. Paid stuff I probably shouldn't have, but I am trying to regain my balance.
Just a funny note...(glad I can find it funny even though it hurts): While he is telling me he does not want a divorce blah blah blah, I go to move money from his account to pay a bill (with his permission of course) and see a charge on his account for Cupid.com! I could not help myself, I had to see if he added a profile. He is so predictable, I found it almost without trying. When he gave me a hard time about not wearing my wedding rings, I asked if he wanted to know why. He said yes, so I told him that I knew about the cupid.com listing he has and that while he says one thing, his actions say another. I originally took them off when he told me he was going out to a bar to hang out with a heroin addict he met at AA and she was going to help him figure out why he drinks and he was going to try to help her understand why she likes heroin!!!!!! hahahahahahhah....too funny. So, off came the rings. But the best part is he sees nothing wrong with any of this! There's so much more, but won't go into it all now.
Oh well, what I am trying to take from all this is that he is just so damaged in his thinking that he can no longer be morally clear in the way you treat people and that reinforces that I did the right thing in leaving. I see things so much clearer now that I out of the fog!
He has been sober since I left except once that I know of, and so little guy does get to see him and that makes little guy happy. Right now, that is what I care about most...his and my happiness and peacefulness.
Oh yeah, and I have also been reconnecting with friends that could not watch what was happening to me while with him. That has been a true blessing....
Can I say again, I am so happy to be back! I have missed you all.:ghug
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 46
Oh well, what I am trying to take from all this is that he is just so damaged in his thinking that he can no longer be morally clear in the way you treat people and that reinforces that I did the right thing in leaving.
Keepingmyjoy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 328
Well, I am no expert on all this, but I can only tell you my experience with AH. It used to be in our earlier years together, that when he was sober, he was his sweet, caring usual self. But as the years went on, and the drinking progressed and got more and more out of control, he became less and less sober. Still, there were glimpses of the caring person. But over the past few years, that person was lost. Even when sober, he became sarcastic, mean and uncaring of anyone or anything. He would say the most awful things and then, if I looked at him shocked at some of things he would say to people, he saw nothing wrong with it. In fact, he would increase his tirade and tell he me does not care what anybody thinks.
In my opinion, this was indicative of HIS progression of his alcoholism. After I found this site, I learned that so many of our loved A's progressed from bad to worse as time went on in their own ways, and often in similar ways to all the others.
I hope that answers your question. I love your name by the way. I had a beagle and loved her with all my heart til the day she died. Very nice to meet you.
In my opinion, this was indicative of HIS progression of his alcoholism. After I found this site, I learned that so many of our loved A's progressed from bad to worse as time went on in their own ways, and often in similar ways to all the others.
I hope that answers your question. I love your name by the way. I had a beagle and loved her with all my heart til the day she died. Very nice to meet you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: "Somewhere in Ohio" ... little joke from past
Posts: 481
keepingmyjoy, SO glad to have you back, glad that you are sounding so happy and are doing so well, and MOST OF ALL glad that both you and Little Guy are safe!!!!! Your posts warm my heart!
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
So glad to see you back, KMJ. It takes a lot of courage to leave familiar surroundings and venture out on your own. I know you and little guy will build a fabulous new life for yourself. Ending my relationship with my alcoholic boyfriend was one of the best decisions I ever made.
My motto for 2008: Out with the bad and in with the good. Here's to many happy years for you and the baby.
My motto for 2008: Out with the bad and in with the good. Here's to many happy years for you and the baby.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
