Losing it over here!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: dysfunction junction,nc
Posts: 381
Losing it over here!!!!!
Yesterday, my children and I had therapy. My oldest two are having some testing done and I went to see my therapist. I left the babies with a sitter and I really didn't like that because I usually don't have to. They haven't adjusted to that because I've always been a stay at home during the day Mom and worked at night. Anyhow, my husband came to the Dr.s office and started questioning me. I told him that I was really considering seperating from him because his lifestyle just wasn't what I planned for my life. I have thought this through for a few days with him gone and I've really figured out that he wears me out emotionally. I have calmed some since he left even though its harder with the kids for me. He did help some with them. They seem to try and run me over so I've all of the sudden become this MONSTER MOM. (Your grounded, no if ands or buts about it) Hey, don't say nothing back to me child okay your grounded for two weeks no radio, no tv,no phone) My daughter almost went out of her mind whe I said No phone!!! Oh my God Mom! No Phone you've got to be kidding me!
So, I'm learning now how to accept the fact that he's not here and the kids are trying me but its not working!
Anyhow, the appointment lasted for two hours and he stayed the whole time...yes with beer on the breath. They can be so STUPID sometimes. He actually started crying in the waiting room and I just wanted the couch to eat me. People were in there and looking! I asked him to step outside and I talked to him but it was nothing he really wanted to hear. I asked him if I could drop off the kids tonight for 2 hours so I could go to an Alanon meeting and he said...."I'm the one that needs the meetings, not you!" What a DIPS@#T! SELFISH DIPS@#T! Anyhow, I don't think he's gonna babysit. So, I'll ask somebody else and hopefully they will because I need it tonight! Well, this is where I'm at in my recovery today and I'll be better tomorrow and even better the next day. Just thought I'd let you guys know what was going on.
2many2count
So, I'm learning now how to accept the fact that he's not here and the kids are trying me but its not working! Anyhow, the appointment lasted for two hours and he stayed the whole time...yes with beer on the breath. They can be so STUPID sometimes. He actually started crying in the waiting room and I just wanted the couch to eat me. People were in there and looking! I asked him to step outside and I talked to him but it was nothing he really wanted to hear. I asked him if I could drop off the kids tonight for 2 hours so I could go to an Alanon meeting and he said...."I'm the one that needs the meetings, not you!" What a DIPS@#T! SELFISH DIPS@#T! Anyhow, I don't think he's gonna babysit. So, I'll ask somebody else and hopefully they will because I need it tonight! Well, this is where I'm at in my recovery today and I'll be better tomorrow and even better the next day. Just thought I'd let you guys know what was going on.
2many2count
~Author of My Life~
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
2many,
I am sorry to hear you going through all this. My heart aches for you, but I can tell from your posts you are a strong lady and a wonderful mother and God will be right by your side as you sort through and work all this out. I have you and your family in my thoughts and prayers today.
Many **{HUGS}} and **{HOPE}} too,
Tammie
I am sorry to hear you going through all this. My heart aches for you, but I can tell from your posts you are a strong lady and a wonderful mother and God will be right by your side as you sort through and work all this out. I have you and your family in my thoughts and prayers today.
Many **{HUGS}} and **{HOPE}} too,
Tammie
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 444
(((((((2Many)))))))
I wish I could loan you my sitter that I used when the kids were little. She's one of my best friends, and she's just the real motherly type. It's been rare for me to see her without a baby on her hip
North Carolina's a long ways from Ohio, though. You need to find one just like her, though. Me, I could never trust Squinty to watch the kids, even when he wasn't drinking. He would have them climbing on the roof to watch fireworks, or something! Don't laugh--he really did do that once, on the 4th of July--but our house is one of those old Victorian ones, with a flat spot on top! It really was cool up there, but I'd sweat leaving my kids with him.
I cracked up when you said you wished the couch would eat you! We have a couch in our basement that really does "eat" you!--oooh but it is soooo comfortable!
Hope you find a way to get to your meeting! You need to really take care of yourself.
Hugs,
Lyn
North Carolina's a long ways from Ohio, though. You need to find one just like her, though. Me, I could never trust Squinty to watch the kids, even when he wasn't drinking. He would have them climbing on the roof to watch fireworks, or something! Don't laugh--he really did do that once, on the 4th of July--but our house is one of those old Victorian ones, with a flat spot on top! It really was cool up there, but I'd sweat leaving my kids with him.
I cracked up when you said you wished the couch would eat you! We have a couch in our basement that really does "eat" you!--oooh but it is soooo comfortable!
Hope you find a way to get to your meeting! You need to really take care of yourself.
Hugs,
Lyn
Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: New York
Posts: 211
A good babysitter is what you need!
Recently a friend of mine found a great sitter through the local high school. She called and spoke to a guidance counselor. Maybe you could try that.
Hang on. You are strong and you are important. You need to do what helps you. If going to Alanon meetings help and DO IT!! I know he seems selfish. But, I have found that's how it goes.
It's funny how I actually feel guilty when I need to do something at night and he stays home with the kids. Nuts, Huh!!???
He goes to groups and AA every night of the week. Yet, when I have to do something or want to go for a simple walk with a neighbor on a night when he's home ---- I find myself asking him if he minds. IF HE MINDS????? I must be crazy!
So I think I may know where you're coming from.
NoDoubt
Recently a friend of mine found a great sitter through the local high school. She called and spoke to a guidance counselor. Maybe you could try that.
Hang on. You are strong and you are important. You need to do what helps you. If going to Alanon meetings help and DO IT!! I know he seems selfish. But, I have found that's how it goes.
It's funny how I actually feel guilty when I need to do something at night and he stays home with the kids. Nuts, Huh!!???
He goes to groups and AA every night of the week. Yet, when I have to do something or want to go for a simple walk with a neighbor on a night when he's home ---- I find myself asking him if he minds. IF HE MINDS????? I must be crazy!
So I think I may know where you're coming from.
NoDoubt
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
2many
It sounds like you are doing just fine to me. Change takes some adjusting, but the alternative if to keep living the same.
I hope you managed to get to your meeting, it's a wonderful support structure and full of healthy people - like us
It sounds like you are doing just fine to me. Change takes some adjusting, but the alternative if to keep living the same.
I hope you managed to get to your meeting, it's a wonderful support structure and full of healthy people - like us
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: dysfunction junction,nc
Posts: 381
You guys really lift my spirits everyday. I am so glad to hear from you all. Yes, a sitter is what I need but with 4 children to tend to its hard to find someone that responsible because they are a handful for me much less someone else I'll find a way though.
I have to.....
Lyn- you got me thinking of something fun to do today. The skies here are cloudy with 100% chance of rain and I'm bored. I'm going to post something funny for us.
Hugs,
2many2count
I'll find a way though.I have to.....
Lyn- you got me thinking of something fun to do today. The skies here are cloudy with 100% chance of rain and I'm bored. I'm going to post something funny for us.
Hugs,
2many2count
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia
Posts: 1,714
Hi 2many - sorry, but I had to laugh at what your husband said to you about the meetings. It just goes to show how utterly clueless they can be! Still too wrapped up in himself to see the chaos his drinking has caused within his family. And if he needs meetings, then he should get himself there! 
You sound much better today and it seems like your spirits are starting to lift. Yes, the kids will test their limits on you - especially right now - but stay strong. Sometimes when my daughter would push my buttons I'd scream some ridiculous punishment like "You're grounded for the rest of your life!" - and I really had to learn to keep my wits about me when doling out the consequences! No Doubt's suggestion about the babysitter is a really good one - I know it's hard to leave your kids with someone you don't know, but a reference such as the school counsellor should help to alleviate any worries. Also, maybe another mom at the meetings you're going to be attending can recommend someone, as well. Anyway, I hope you were able to make it to your meeting - they will be a godsend to you at this difficult time.
Keep posting, 2many! Lots of hugs and support to you!
You sound much better today and it seems like your spirits are starting to lift. Yes, the kids will test their limits on you - especially right now - but stay strong. Sometimes when my daughter would push my buttons I'd scream some ridiculous punishment like "You're grounded for the rest of your life!" - and I really had to learn to keep my wits about me when doling out the consequences! No Doubt's suggestion about the babysitter is a really good one - I know it's hard to leave your kids with someone you don't know, but a reference such as the school counsellor should help to alleviate any worries. Also, maybe another mom at the meetings you're going to be attending can recommend someone, as well. Anyway, I hope you were able to make it to your meeting - they will be a godsend to you at this difficult time.
Keep posting, 2many! Lots of hugs and support to you!
Paused
Join Date: May 2003
Location: MO
Posts: 32
2many,
I have no wise words of wisdom to offer....just support, hugs and to let you know I am thinking of you.
I'm not doing too good of a job myself holding it together, but I know both you and I will be ok. You know that saying about God never giving us more than we can handle? Well, right now he's up there laughing because we think we are losing it and HE knows better. So, you are right about laughing. We need to laugh now. Even if its just at ourselves.
Take some time for yourself, spend some fun time with the kids and for heaven sakes.......laugh more.
BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!
Sunshine
I have no wise words of wisdom to offer....just support, hugs and to let you know I am thinking of you.
I'm not doing too good of a job myself holding it together, but I know both you and I will be ok. You know that saying about God never giving us more than we can handle? Well, right now he's up there laughing because we think we are losing it and HE knows better. So, you are right about laughing. We need to laugh now. Even if its just at ourselves.
Take some time for yourself, spend some fun time with the kids and for heaven sakes.......laugh more.
BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!
Sunshine
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
