First Al-anon Meeting.....
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 226
First Al-anon Meeting.....
I had my first experience with Al-anon last night. I get there about 15mins early and not one person to be found. I’m waiting and waiting starting to think I’m at the wrong location. I thought about AA and how people will show up three days in advance to make coffee and set the meeting up. Then in a frenzy someone came down the stairs and into the basement. Ok good I thought this must be the set up person. I thought to myself she doesn’t know who I am or what I want and I might frighten her so I’ll give it a few minutes. Then the thought came to mind that I might help set up, great way to break the ice.
I went into the meeting room saw the woman and very calmly introduced myself. She spun around screamed and froze and when I mean Froze I mean froze. I said hello my name is T2F how are you I’m here for the Al-anon meeting. Keep in mind she is still in the frozen position, I said hi I’m sorry I scared you my name is T2F I’m here for the al-anon meeting. Now the frozen facial expression that this woman had looked like something that was created my MGM or something, deer in headlights. Al-anon I said can I give you a hand setting up? Still frozen I walked away and took a seat and as I did she then asked why I was here. Frustrated I said the al-anon meeting, I said it three times. Now she asked again as if to challenge me, and very proudly I have to say I stuck to my guns and said, “I said it three times I’m here for the meeting”.
Is there really a purpose for me telling you this story, not really but the only reason I went was to get away from the drama, aggressiveness, and perfection of AA. I guess its everywhere, or is it?
It was a speaker meeting and I sat right next to the speaker, considering I don’t here S H I T right I thought I was in a great spot. After she was done and some folks shared I said a few things myself. People identified at what I said because they laughed, very few people laugh in AA unless it’s a joke or something. Laughter because of identifying is a whole different ballgame. People identified, laughed and I didn’t feel like I had to always say or do the right thing. After I got done sharing not one person followed me by saying well that’s not something I would do. In fact I was just told I was in the right place and they hoped they would see me next week. I haven’t heard this in AA for years. Only thing I get in AA is everyone’s opinion on what’s the right thing and the wrong thing to do and personaly I dont give a ****. The people in Al-anon didn’t judge me and I felt good. I work a program of recovery and I am an alcoholic, odd that despite the deer in headlights I felt better having gone to an al-anon meeting than I have in years going to AA. Know one jumped on me because I was a newcomer throwing big books at me. I was asked if I wanted a newcomer package and afraid as hell I said maybe next week. The woman said great they are here if you need one. Talk about shock I can say how I feel and not be crucified or chased to my car because of it.
I do have to put a disclaimer that AA, God and the 12 steps saved my life!! The AA I knew 9 years ago no longer exists. I need to be loved again and al-non seems to be what AA was, Love and Tolerance. Considering Love and Tolerance is my code I think I’m not going to wait until next week, maybe there is an Al-anon meeting tonight!!!!!!!
I went into the meeting room saw the woman and very calmly introduced myself. She spun around screamed and froze and when I mean Froze I mean froze. I said hello my name is T2F how are you I’m here for the Al-anon meeting. Keep in mind she is still in the frozen position, I said hi I’m sorry I scared you my name is T2F I’m here for the al-anon meeting. Now the frozen facial expression that this woman had looked like something that was created my MGM or something, deer in headlights. Al-anon I said can I give you a hand setting up? Still frozen I walked away and took a seat and as I did she then asked why I was here. Frustrated I said the al-anon meeting, I said it three times. Now she asked again as if to challenge me, and very proudly I have to say I stuck to my guns and said, “I said it three times I’m here for the meeting”.
Is there really a purpose for me telling you this story, not really but the only reason I went was to get away from the drama, aggressiveness, and perfection of AA. I guess its everywhere, or is it?
It was a speaker meeting and I sat right next to the speaker, considering I don’t here S H I T right I thought I was in a great spot. After she was done and some folks shared I said a few things myself. People identified at what I said because they laughed, very few people laugh in AA unless it’s a joke or something. Laughter because of identifying is a whole different ballgame. People identified, laughed and I didn’t feel like I had to always say or do the right thing. After I got done sharing not one person followed me by saying well that’s not something I would do. In fact I was just told I was in the right place and they hoped they would see me next week. I haven’t heard this in AA for years. Only thing I get in AA is everyone’s opinion on what’s the right thing and the wrong thing to do and personaly I dont give a ****. The people in Al-anon didn’t judge me and I felt good. I work a program of recovery and I am an alcoholic, odd that despite the deer in headlights I felt better having gone to an al-anon meeting than I have in years going to AA. Know one jumped on me because I was a newcomer throwing big books at me. I was asked if I wanted a newcomer package and afraid as hell I said maybe next week. The woman said great they are here if you need one. Talk about shock I can say how I feel and not be crucified or chased to my car because of it.
I do have to put a disclaimer that AA, God and the 12 steps saved my life!! The AA I knew 9 years ago no longer exists. I need to be loved again and al-non seems to be what AA was, Love and Tolerance. Considering Love and Tolerance is my code I think I’m not going to wait until next week, maybe there is an Al-anon meeting tonight!!!!!!!
Last edited by Treasure2Find; 01-04-2008 at 06:09 AM.
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The woman said great they are here if you need one. Talk about shock I can say how I feel and not be crucified or chased to my car because of it.
Glad that you are going again!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 226
Thankyou both so much for talking to me and Yes it does feel great!!!
I havent felt this good in years. I went to an AA meeting this morning and I looked around at everyone as the topic was being discussed and out of 30 people not one smile. It came to me and I spoke about the topic "spiritual experience". I stayed on topic but mentioned I felt I had some what of a spiritual awakening by going to AL-anon and by sharing about some resentments I had. Well the next guy after me said that he got rid of his resentments by doing a fourth and fifth step (compleatly off topic) didnt mention anything about a spiritual experience and said that sharing resentments with just anyone didnt help. Wonder who he was really talking about? The next guy started bashing Al-anon and pointing fun and said that I had to come to AA to deal with my drinking and then had to go to AL-anon to learn how to deal with the drunks.
The sad part of it, is if I sugested to an alcoholic that this type of behavior is what keeps people away they would laugh at me and tell me what step I should be working.
I got up and left, I dont belong there anymore. I'm going to stick to service work, al-anon, and some speaker mtgs.
Thanks again Rella927 and Cynay it does feel good.
I havent felt this good in years. I went to an AA meeting this morning and I looked around at everyone as the topic was being discussed and out of 30 people not one smile. It came to me and I spoke about the topic "spiritual experience". I stayed on topic but mentioned I felt I had some what of a spiritual awakening by going to AL-anon and by sharing about some resentments I had. Well the next guy after me said that he got rid of his resentments by doing a fourth and fifth step (compleatly off topic) didnt mention anything about a spiritual experience and said that sharing resentments with just anyone didnt help. Wonder who he was really talking about? The next guy started bashing Al-anon and pointing fun and said that I had to come to AA to deal with my drinking and then had to go to AL-anon to learn how to deal with the drunks.
The sad part of it, is if I sugested to an alcoholic that this type of behavior is what keeps people away they would laugh at me and tell me what step I should be working.
I got up and left, I dont belong there anymore. I'm going to stick to service work, al-anon, and some speaker mtgs.
Thanks again Rella927 and Cynay it does feel good.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Dixie
Posts: 612
Originally Posted by Treasure2Find 
...I had to come to AA to deal with my drinking and then had to go to AL-anon to learn how to deal with the drunks.
I'm glad you have found your niche in Alanon. Sorry about AA, though. My AH really enjoys it... the meetings, the speakers, the sharing and the fellowship. The open AA meetings I have attended have been filled with talkative, happy folks who laughed quite a bit. Like Alanon, I guess you just have to find the right meeting. Sounds like you did.
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