Maybe I should put it this way
 

I'm actullay affraid that I will not know what to do or how to act to him getting sober. I'm affraid that I will be mean just because I want to keep my gaued up, I get rather bitchy when I'm affraid of the unknown. Any suggestions on how you all handled the sobriety of your loved one would be great. How will I know for sure? How did you all react the first time they said they were sober?

this situation may be a great opportunity to continue keeping your focus on yourself, one day at a time. notice when you may be projecting into the future or wallowing in the past, and keep returning to this day. One day at a time.

It has helped me tremendously to keep myself positive, engaged in productive pasttimes and to detach from anothers progress.

IS he sober? or are you prepareing yourself in case he gets sober?

The answer to both is to get sober yourself....emotionally sober....I do do via alanon.

How about focusing on YOU instead of him? Might see miracles!

I think the one thing that stands out here for me is that you two are no longer together.
Therefore him being sober or not does not really effect you in anyway, unless he has contact with his children.

You have a new life now, and he does also with a new relationship.
It must be put in perspective.

Mr. C we both have new lives yes, but I think my concern is for the kids, I just want to do right by them. I'm just trying to prepare my self for my own reactions.
His girlfriend and I have a friendly relationship and I want it this way for the kids, I hoped that the person he chose would be healthy for my kids, I have no problem with that, I guess I'm trying to prepare myself on how to act

I was scared to death. I had never known him without alcohol in his life. I had no idea what to expect. I had knots in my stomach and was sick with worry of the unknown. Inside, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'd never known him sober, so I guess I was just expecting that rehab wouldn't "take." Well, it's been almost a year.

It took me about a month to settle into this "new" way of life and lose those knots in my stomach.

If I'm giving advice, I would say that his recovery is ALL about him. That's the way it has to be - don't take it personally. Don't ask him questions. Don't mind his business. Just let him do it. If you don't already have one, get a life for yourself. Involve yourself in things that you can do without him. You are still sharing your life with him, but independently. You will come through this a more empowered woman. And hardest of all... resist the temptation to engage him in discussions about the future of your relationship. Sobriety is priority. The rest will happen when you are both stronger.

Finally, thank God everyday for sending him (and you) this miracle of sobriety. I'm really happy for both of you.

Well, Id act no different really,

It's a long hard road and one hot day does not a summer make.

I didn't realize you were not together. But my advice would be the same.

Hope thanks, great advice, Mr. C as always.....