Mr. Christian

The New Year is here and I hope everyone has a good one.
As far as my side story of the girl, 2 days after Christmas she decides the relationship is off again. Yep after cooking dinner and buying a vast amount of gifts, she runs again.
I guess it was not to be.

So we start fresh so to speak as the clock ticks midnight.
Most make resolutions that last a couple weeks and fall to the wayside.
But what can we plan or change within ourselves this next year?
The possibilities are endless.
We can do so much for ourselves and most of us don’t.
It’s not a girl or husband or even another friend that makes us whole.
It’s what we have within ourselves that makes us happy.
I had to see that again this week.

So before I ramble too much here I think I made my point here.
Anyway, have a Happy New Year, and be careful out there.


Mr. C

Barbara52

Yes, indeed. The only true happiness and wholeness comes form within. My only resolution, one that will last my lifetime, is to continue to work on me and seek my health and happiness from me. Anything happiness that involves another person, whoever that may be, whatever kind of relationship, is a bonus.

kermit

Thanks my friend, Happy New Year

justjo

I say Mr C, that is her loss. You sound like one heck of a guy, so I hope you have the best year too.

denny57

I'm very much looking forward to 2008! In the past week I moved into a new place (no phone, cable or internet yet), cleared out the old (only thing still here is the dsl connection), closed escrow on a business and had my last day in divorce court. Friday the house closes. My goal for 2008 is simple: sleep!

Happy New Year!

PrettyViolets

My husband has been sober over 30 days. He got his 30 day coin this month. I am really thankful to God. But sometimes I am scared to get close again with him. I am taking my time. He is finally taking his recovery program seriously and going to AA every day. I spent Christmas with my husband and his family. He had been sober for a couple of weeks, and I am learning to trust him again.

Dating has never been easy for me. Finding someone that you are really compatible with--I keep having to give this part of my life to God. Honestly, it would drive me crazy if someone kept liking me one holiday and then saying it was not going to work out for the next holiday. I would just want someone who would want to spend every holiday with me.

Mr. Christian

I often wonder what makes people do what they do. How they can go through life and create wreckage without a single thought.
It does not matter if they turn to drinking or not, they are still the same type of people.
Therefore there must still be some attraction there for me to those types.

I can only put her in that category due to her action, which have all seen in others. It’s funny because when I spoke to my sponsor on this his comment was, “Sounds like an alcoholic “
We did laugh on it a little, that come here, go away thing.
New Year’s Eve went well. I found after making some calls and letting it known that I was in circulation somewhat the invites started.

I chose a night out with some friend at a local spot. It was not the night I had planned in advanced, but it worked out favorably anyway.

Simple actions can bring change. I could have very well have just sat in the funk of the last couple months, but I didn’t I moved forward.

It’s also very easy just to feel bad or sorry for myself but with everything I’ve learned, I see that I control that also.

I guess I made up my mind to have a good time and I did.
We have the powers to do that you know.

This next year I hope and plan to look at things with a different perspective.
I think people need to really earn our friendship and the right to be close to us.

Life is too very short here on this planet to be around those who do not care about us.

daisygirl1217

I hear you here...soemtimes i feel empty without someone next to me, im really trying to learn to be happy by myself...maybe you should try it too?

daisygirl1217

My gosh i just went through this myself...its a process....I dont understand people and why they do the things they do either...i find that i really care way too much and give way too much to those, well that dont deserve it..the more they push away the more i want...now im stepping back and really really focusing on myself and what i can do to be better......Everyone says stop blaming yourself or what you did wrong, stop internalizing...but i feel i have a lot of work to do inside and i know that when bad things happen over and over again, the same thing, theres got to be more to it, so im searching...keep searching, you sound like me , a great soul with a lot of love to give....just to the right person!

hope2bhappy

I gave up on New Year's resolutions -- they are beyond my capability. I also gave up on the New Year's - New Beginnings philosophy. Since I live most of life "One Day At A Time," I now celebrate New Day (minus the horns and confetti). So... Happy New Day, everyone!

denny57

Good for you, Mr. C. ((()))

historyteach

Wishing you blessings in the new year, Mr Christian!
Kudos on picking yourself up and making plans for yourself, rather than wallowing in self pity over something you have no control over, (another person's actions).

Shalom!

hbb

I have wondered this same thing EVERY day since my X. Makes no sense to me and not sure it ever will!

I'm glad you were bound and determined to have a fun night and i made that same determination! Glad you had a nice night

We all deserve a happy 2008 and beyond!

Growing

Mr. C,

I agree with HistoryT and HappyS. Good for you taking care of your needs!

I learn from your posts...you have a recovery that I want for myself!

Mr. Christian

Thank you all for writing.

It’s funny because even with all I have learned about people, I still have that draw to make contact with this person.
Still, I do not.
Is it the rejection that we feel? The need to be wanted which is very human?
I think it’s many things.
But as I have also learned there are many other that DO want to spend time with us.

Yes and being happy with ones self does help.
Not only will it make us better in a relationship; it’s also a very positive attraction.

Rella927

Amen so true about being "Happy with ourselves" it makes a major difference in how we are with others all around-Family, work, relationships!

Happy New Year Mr. C wishing you all the best!

cagefree

I'm so glad you posted Mr C - I always get so much from your posts.

This was so difficult for me to learn - even though it seems extremely fundemental. At the start of my recovery I discovered that ALL my relationships were codependent and it left me fearing that I did not know how to have healthy relationships. Once I learned that a healthy relationship was simply being together because of simply enjoying someone else's company instead of needing it (or needing to be needed), it got easier. And yes, I had to learn that people do enjoy our company, especially after we embark on codependent recovery

This year something has changed regarding what I want. I no longer am trying to figure out how fast I can move up in my job, work 12 hour days or try to think of what big purchase will make me acceptable...I am saving for a vacation for myself, I am looking into attending some seminars on self enrichment and improvement...it's all about making myself happy, discovering who I am and what I want from MY life.

I believe so strongly (tho I don't know why) that happy and whole people find happy and whole people.