Stellargirl

Hello All,
I have mostly been posting in F&F in Sub. Abuse, since it was coke my XABF lied about but his real DOC was alcohol. Long story short:
He has admitted he wants help and asked me to attend a meeting with him. I sent him the link for a meeting, I think maybe I sent the wrong link? It was for Ala-non more than AA.
The meeting he asked me to attend is closed, ?.
It says: Closed mtg. – for newcomers &
Al-Anon members whose lives have
been affected by someone else’s
drinking.
I am the latter and he is the former, correct?
Or should we be attending a different meeting?
I called the help line and they suggested an Open AA meeting, in addition. I passed this info. to XABF.

What do you all think?
THANKS!!!!!!

aztchr

Yes, an open AA meeting would be for him.

Alanon and Naranon are for families affected by the disease.

aztchr

Did you use this website? I use it for the Phoenix listings.

Official Arizona Area Al-Anon/Alateen Website - meeting index

Stellargirl

SOOO, if we are to go to a meeting together...
He is an alcoholic and wants help, then Open AA would be the one
WE would go together.
Hmmm? am I the first person to be supportive and go to a meeting with their alcoholic friend?
Then I go to the Alanon closed meeting solo?


Okay, Thanks!

ICU

I went to open AA meetings with my ex to show support before I really started getting into my own recovery. At the time I thought it was a good idea, and, he asked me to go with him. Looking back, sure, maybe attending 1 or 2 might have been alright, but not as many as I went to. However, open AA speaker meetings were very, very insightful as it showed me what AA recovery looked like, and didn't look like. That was also the first place that I began to understand the concept that 'his' drinking was not 'my' fault.

Either an open or closed Alanon meeting might be a good choice for you.

Zoey

Open AA for anyone, so correct you can both go.
Al-Anon is for you, but am sure friends are welcome to open Al-Anon.

Many are supportive, after one or two meetings together he should attend alone in my opinion as they can talk more openly.

Glad to have you here, I would suggest the book "Under the Influence" also , and check 'Classic reading" under the stickey's at top of where you started your thread.

Sorry i was writing this post befor ICU's came in. Guess it's OK.

SaTiT

Any meetings would be for him.

There's no rules in AA..Cuz I'll go in there and rock the boat
and tell all those old farts to shut the hell up.
Speak my mind and out of trun.lol

A close meeting is usually for alkis to talk or whine more openly
about codi :rof

The only requirment is a desire to stop drinking or using to be a
member...meaning i don't even have to be clean or sober to be
a member.

There are no dues or fees..no lecture to endure in AA or NA.
You are a member when you say you are.
The most important person in a meeting is the newcomer.

if your BF is seriousely about his recovery and want to get clean..those minor issues
are not going to stop him from attending a meeting or any meeting.
Meaning I'm willing to go to any lenght for my recovery..the rest of the stuff are just
alkis being alkis .lol

ICU

Zoey, that's ok. The more the merrier I always say!

Stellargirl

Yes, I am "getting it" actions speak louder than words. I don't feel it's my fault he drinks.

Please pray for me and my recovery and for his too, we both need it.

yeah, I was thinking of attending just one or two meetings then going to Alanon on my own.
Thanks for your feedback!

GiveLove

Excellent plan for yourself, stellar!!! Beware if he won't go unless you go with him. That's not a strong sign that he's ready for recovery.