question for parents
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: phoenix arizona
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question for parents
The good news...I made it to Winter Break and I have a meeting to attend tomorrow.
Things are still very strained with my addicted sister and parents. My mom is so sad right now and really having a difficult time, especially with her relationship with my dad. They are living separate lives in their own home and really just talking when it has to do with my niece. I told my mom that my dad is dealing with everything in his own way and she can really only help herself. My dad can't fix everything for my mom. My dad is isolating whereas my mom wants to have things how they used to be. Everything isn't "perfect" at the house. She's been finding fault with a lot. She's not happy with much. I see how her expectations are causing so much disappointment and anger. Her relationship with my dad and sister is deteriorating and I truly think she only knows the victim/martyr role sometimes. It's difficult for me to be in the middle, so I'm really trying to take myself out of it.
I know there is nothing I can do to help her, except keep reminding her of the positives. I'm keeping up with my own inner spirit and trying to share it with my family. I sent my mom flowers, baked cookies, and will be helping wrap gifts for my niece this weekend. My sister has been gone all week, but at least we've heard from her. I really can't do much more for my mom. She's in a difficult place and can only get out by herself. Maybe she's not ready.
Is it common for parents of addicts/alcoholics to have relationship issues, too? My hope is that they would be stronger together, but I see things unraveling. I think my dad is just trying to detach more and take care of his grandchild. My mom wants my dad for her own emotional support and he's trying to deal with his own issues.
I'm finding so much more inner peace these past few weeks. I really have accepted I can't help anyone. I can be supportive and love them all sometimes from a distance.
I'm still focusing on the good things even though the family stuff can get to me. I wonder what the meeting topic will be tomorrow?
Things are still very strained with my addicted sister and parents. My mom is so sad right now and really having a difficult time, especially with her relationship with my dad. They are living separate lives in their own home and really just talking when it has to do with my niece. I told my mom that my dad is dealing with everything in his own way and she can really only help herself. My dad can't fix everything for my mom. My dad is isolating whereas my mom wants to have things how they used to be. Everything isn't "perfect" at the house. She's been finding fault with a lot. She's not happy with much. I see how her expectations are causing so much disappointment and anger. Her relationship with my dad and sister is deteriorating and I truly think she only knows the victim/martyr role sometimes. It's difficult for me to be in the middle, so I'm really trying to take myself out of it.
I know there is nothing I can do to help her, except keep reminding her of the positives. I'm keeping up with my own inner spirit and trying to share it with my family. I sent my mom flowers, baked cookies, and will be helping wrap gifts for my niece this weekend. My sister has been gone all week, but at least we've heard from her. I really can't do much more for my mom. She's in a difficult place and can only get out by herself. Maybe she's not ready.
Is it common for parents of addicts/alcoholics to have relationship issues, too? My hope is that they would be stronger together, but I see things unraveling. I think my dad is just trying to detach more and take care of his grandchild. My mom wants my dad for her own emotional support and he's trying to deal with his own issues.
I'm finding so much more inner peace these past few weeks. I really have accepted I can't help anyone. I can be supportive and love them all sometimes from a distance.
I'm still focusing on the good things even though the family stuff can get to me. I wonder what the meeting topic will be tomorrow?
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